/brit/

39 Dead

Tomorrow it will be somewhere in the 50s

Mad to think that I wrote a paper for a permanent secretary yesterday and I'm sharing a board with literal NEET vermin who claim benefits and think they're some sort of masterrace

don't you have to report to toilberg the tasks you've done?

nope

its easy to pretend you've done work

we’re not very closely monitored

pompeo on deck
omg

Hundreds next week
Literally a week behind where italy were last week

i hate people who aren't polite (read: white)

business idea: make the landlords pay for the bankers bonuses

>Chinese virus

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Think the Japs would rather die than not go to work.

that wasnt very polite of you

tell me why governments are shutting down the economy for people who no longer contribute to it?
tell me why all these emergency government funds aren't just going to setting up makeshift quarantine hospitals for the elderly, thus freeing up regular hospitals and allowing the rest of the world to not spiral into chaos

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Love how they've gone from infected numbers to dead

got a bet with the lads on the top 5 infected countries in 1 week
very hard to predict with the fake chink numbers

a mask won't protect you at all. its so you won't spread the covid you might have and the aids I know you DO have to others

feels good to have had the rona and be immune now

bbc has actually redeemed itself during this pandemic in my view

tried to overtake a cyclist earlier and accidentally went in to neutral so revved my engine really loudly next to him so it looked like i was being aggressive but i wasnt

suck
my
piss
simmppo
cunt

it's pretty objective news tbf

what is a permanent secretary lad

prediction: once corona wipes out 98% of the population and social order breaks down, the neo-pharonic imperial egyptian metropolis of stockport conquer the rest of britian and rule it with an iron fist

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had to repeat a year of uni (medicine) and now all my friends are graduating and starting early as FYs while my year's just had all teaching cancelled and I've to sit with my thumb up my arse for the next few months
dunno whether I'm relieved or disappointed

did't ask

1:5 odds on that

Any driller man in

dunno whether I'm bored or really bored

The true rulers of society above the bogs and reptilians

>still believing this
Idiot
You're thinking of surgical masks, and even they probably help a bit
N95 and n99 masks are literally made to protect you from viruses
Stop believing everything you hear

still hate how laura cuntsberg sucks off boris . wish she's just apply for a media position in the government and leave the bbc alone

its all kicking off in the radioactive zone around cheadle

won't you be a pariah now unless you're keeping it to yourself?

depends on the amount of wanks you've done. anything over 3 and you are in the really bored category

had some small talk with a cab driver before about the virus and he just went on a big rant about how chinese people are subhuman insects and how he wishes corona would wipe them all out

probably the most racist thing i've ever heard someone say irl, very interesting indeed

used to think they were good but watched 12 recently and realised how bad they are
it was just an excuse for clooney and his mates to have a holiday across europe

i see

why have they done this to us

bet he was a based sikh man

are stopfordians goold?

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youtu.be/3rkJ3L5Ce80

tune

lol

I remember being a druggo cretin when it came out and being like omg I understand why he has face tattoos

I’m so broken as well ahh

literally me back then lmao

what was I like ffs

moral of the story:

don’t do drugs kids

It's her 103 birthday today. Say something nice about her.

youtube.com/watch?v=zOpFyDy5CRo
youtube.com/watch?v=HsM_VmN6ytk
youtube.com/watch?v=_qhLPWcm-0w

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remember the sexual tension from that Brexit interview where they were at a bar?

*hides this post*

What is this abomination. I bet it's in northern england

mmm cherry pie

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Having spent a few years working next to a large hotel I can safely say that most people from Europe are not white, especially the Spanish and Italians.

nah it was a black cab so he was white

added a large post that was just made to the do not read list

applying for bennies lads

ABERDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN ABERDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

I know the difference between a facemask and a surgical mask. who the fuck is going around in surgical masks? you can't even buy them commercially afaik. facemasks aren't some magical device. even with one on your face is full of pores the virus will just as quickly get in through, hence why we're not meant to be touching it anywhere

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Just time to order a Moonpig for Mother's Day lads

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haha alri me from 2012

youtube.com/watch?v=ynPbc5LP22E&t=5m35s

absolute seaside kino

hope its laced with 'rona

>omg I understand why he has face tattoos
because he has low iq

>live in city with extremely low unemployment
>keep putting off finding a job
>corona virus hits, everybody getting laid off, job listings vanish overnight

absolutely fucked it haven't I

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based
most racist thing i’ve ever heard was from a flaming homosexual South African
feels very strange being somewhat conditioned to see even insignificant things as racist and then you have this drunk bender calling blacks lazy worthless subhumans that belong in cages

No it's in front of the Louvre.

/brit/ not /advert/

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Anyone been sacked at your work yet?

Got mine in the other day. Love Moonpig me. Life saver.

opened the window and 15 seconds later it starts pouring
fucking HATE god

why are you talking shit when it's clear you know absolutely nothing on the matter?

How can I play music through my Philips radio/speakers with my phone if I dont have port for aux in my phone?

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at least now we all have excuses to be neets for a few months

Know a couple people that have

as pharaoh of stockport, i sentence you to be burnt alive once your land has come under stopfordian rule

No they are made to filter out viruses
Why do you think doctors and nurses wear them
Idiot

Thots on bent black men?

Fuck off

Get a 3.5mm audio adapter for your charging port.

you're on cope mode like the rest of us here

It's Egypt lad

>people from stockport - stopfordian
>people from salford - salfordian
ah yes, mancunians

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Applying to be Grand Vizier of Stockport

>that makeup
wanna slap that shit right off her fucking face

more tolerable than the rest

is coffee good for you?

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Tanks x

might start crossdressing again
normal wanking's boring now
need to spice it up a bit haha
might buy some sex toys haha
might regret my purchases in a couple of weeks and bung it all in a bin bag and dump it somewhere far away haha

glad this dossers dead

is there a way to put songs on your computer onto spotify?

imagine the smellz

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*knocks your beret clean off and sticks a baguette up your arse as you bend over to pick it up*

been drinking it since I was 10 and I ain't dead.
can't be bad for you

I'll be a satrap of the transpennine territories.

'

krauts showing us up lads, not on imo

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South Africa feels absolutely bizarro if you've been raised in Europe, they're all extremely racist even if it's not always meant pejoratively

why

i'm not sure the bent black men would be into that given that they're bent

Nope. I tried that.

keep your weird fantasies to yourself yeah

Pondering another wank despite having one an hour ago.

yes

I wanna slurp on her tits
also coffee (black) is good for you
but any other kind is bad, mostly because of the sugars and what not

nah

>rose emoji

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mark

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1584721100673.webm

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CULT OF THE BOJO DOES IT AGAIN

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what's on your 'rona reading list de lads?

>anglos in charge of anything

krauts don’t count people who died of the virus as infected if the virus was detected post-mortem
krauts also received the same “advice” to socially distance and kept organising parties and such, just not in bars
restaurants are still open

dont read books

read ebooks

for me it's good

un

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germany trying to blitzkrieg the virus
herd immunity will win out in the end

stockpiling lads
picked up Empire Of The Sun as well

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 144 PEOPLE HAVE DIED

fucking hell who gives a shit

hollaring

shit excerise that doesn't even have a full range of motion
better off just doing wall sits

mark twain and tolstoy

his music was shite fake deep bollocks and he fetishised mental health problems and suicide to gullible teens

guy i know commited suicide and was found dead with him playing on repeat

also gym class was his only semi decent song

>infinite jest
>heart of darkness

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Cat's Cradle is the only good thing there

Hundreds of thousands of /brit/ posts.

Cant imagine anything more boring than being an accountant
Sounds horrifically bland

gonna re-read the stand, can't focus on serious literature since gravity's rainbow fried my brain

It's not an ab exercise
It's for girls who are desperate to develop a booty

she's exercising sex muscles you virgin

Moby dick

Apparently Germans are not following the advice on social distancing at all. Bavaria is now in full absolute lockdown.

might finally get round to reading crime and punishment

business idea: transcribe 3-hour joe rogan podcasts and sell them as hardback novels

post that picture again lads, you know the one

Yas Forums

if this shit goes on for another week everyone is fucked

Then do goblet squats using that jug
shitty instagram exercises, hate women simple as

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eq p1999 quest dialog

purchased stock to leverage the coronavirus lads

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:(

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all good reads apart from vonnegut which is middlebrow bollocks

tee hee im bent btw :v

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She probably can't do that she's tiny. Most girls squat like 95lbs in the gym

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how bout that

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wasn't a fan of the cats cradle, but some of his stuff is very good
such as hocus pocus

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Complete works of HP Lovecraft
American Psycho
Pet Sematary
Starting Strength

off to bed de lads
have a great friday evening!

corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Thought he only eats ready meals

suck my piss cunt

youtube.com/watch?v=s0lENgiob_Q

This one hurts but thankfully I can quite justifiably blame my parents for most of my adulthood social problems.

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>Infinite Jest

I have the same edition bought from Waterstones. Made a few attempts to read it but can't get beyond the barrier of ~200 pages for some reason. It is just way too difficult for me to read it normally and it makes me feel myself a brainlet.

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at least he's aware of wider global situations now

literally me except I also have chad looks

I C O N I C