/brit/

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According to Indian law if man and woman have consensual sex while married but they later divorce the sex they had while married can be viewed as rape.
This also applies to consensual sex while not married, for example dating.
However, forced sex WHILE married does NOT constitute as rape in India.

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Microsoft Teams
basically Skype for business

Dumb Bruce, check the posts

Hate that shit, confusing interface, slow as a dog, and eats up too much memory.

This is unironically the janitor

Any suggestions of places to look for work, just lost all my shifts as a kitchen hand at an RSL club for the next 6 months.

>a bloo bloo bloo follow the rules
man up

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In post #119905802 I incorrectly stated that post numbers #119905724 and #119905732 were the first British posters in the thread.
It has come to my attention that there was an even earlier British post, hyperlinked forthwith below

Uganda be kidding me!

*sips on some stinky chinky bat soup*
mmm

so this is it then

I think someone's cursed me because my balls have been really runny lately

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5tg guy rekt in india

prostitution is legal in Oz, no?

God I want a roided out true blue Australian stallion to fuck my arse so badly lads. Is that too much to ask

competition is fierce

If you're worried about the corona virus, this is what you sound like. The weak chinned $oy who flinches when punched rather than punching back.

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there's a repo crisis that started last year, pension funds are insolvent, the government is bailing out every industry, dozens of CEOs quit their jobs in anticipation, senators sold millions in February, the unemployment websites are crashing do to load, mass layoffs haven't started, supply chain hit hasn't fully manifested yet (companies will run out of reserve stock soon), quarterly earnings are next month, hmm what else? yes there is a global pandemic. Oh right, there's a housing bubble, student loan bubble, sub-prime auto loans. What else? OH YEAH. All growth in the market since 2009 has been fucking stock buybacks! OH RIGHT any the fucking pandemic hasn't even slammed the hospitals yet. Do you realize by this time next month the average hospital will be swamped with elderly people who are literally suffocating to death? Picture it, and the media coverage.
We haven't even priced-in all the people who will be drawing out their 401ks to pay for mortgages, rent, and food. OH yeah, and the food shortages. OH YEAH and the national GUARD is being DEPLOYED because of the very real possibility of riots in the major cities. OH YEAH and there's going to be an Occupy Wall Street 2.0 coming that will be militantly violent with a fully built-up army of anti-Drumpf cattle manipulated by strongest anarcho-communist blac block America has even seen (as a reaction to the Alt Right).
Yeah mate this is the bottom for sure... for sure... for sure.

TYB

was dreaming earlier I was justin timberlake (or at least certainly looked like him) and I was some sort of party performer and I was at a children's birthday party in a really cluttery toy shop and my shtick was doing a really terrible 'rap' (in completely normal clothes at that) where each line was a crappy pun using different toys about how badass I was and halfway through it I just gave up and told the kid's parents I'd give them half price if I could leave it at that as this was 'beyond terrible' and they agreed and the dream just ended. most hilarious dream I think I ever had and woke up laughing from it

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Hello my fellow early risers

Let’s get this money and FUCK the ‘rona

in brit yes it is too much too ask. aussies itt are all small scrawny beta males who play video games daily

I'm a 6'4 anglo-celtic tradesman with sporadic homosexual inclinations but unfortunately I have a gf x

ngl aus/pol/ is actually kind of decent during power hours

Not true, I'm 130kg at 170cm

Toilfu is gone now forever

wow

Had a dream that a vague acquaintance I knew from school was walking down the street naked with his massive cock cleft in twain and dripping blood everywhere and people were laughing and recording videos of him and he just soldiered on down the street with his cock in tatters

Bizarre

RUNNING RUNNING RED LIGHTS
RED LIGHTS RED LIGHTS

me & the gf

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np x

currently working from home but all im really doing is reading 2666

My leftypol mate is telling me off for calling it the China virus

This guys a fucking pedo

don't talk about toilfu's
i miss her

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Uganda be kidding me!

The nigger store are always hiring

That's rich coming from a Yas Forums frenchman. You're all IT nerds with wine and prescription med dependencies, who do nothing but play EU4 and bitch your ridiculously enormous government.

Who is this anyway

Australia's brave Sharky (or Sharkie I forget which)

Annoyingly we use both in my office.

Teams has a better connection for video calls and you can blur the background if you're working from home and have a messy bedroom

See my former orbiter online on steam. Hope she doesn't message me and get upset for ghosting her

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Mate shut the fuck up the Australians that post here are actual scrawny little manlet faggots, as the biggest lad on /brit/ (Me) I could safely say I would smash any and all of you

the real prison is the one you build in your mind

*orbits around the moon*

PepeLaugh

canard: the post

>Hey user, your camera's off can we have your camera on please
>Can everyone mute their mic if they- guys can everyone mute their mic if they're not speaking please

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Top Ten COVID-19™ symptoms

work already told me to set up microsoft teams on my home PC but I'll probably just tell them I've got 'rona symptoms so I don't have to participate in this work from home bullshit

love "accidentally" saying nigger or showing porn in the virtual classroom, professor just pretends to not notice it but all the students seethe later in the group chat. of course, I go in with a username like bignig69 instead of my real name

I live under the flight path so everyone gets mad at me
Well not anymore since there's no planes left

was it funny in your head?

yeah that's pretty true i guess

yeah and in real life when I do it

Just saw a mother post on Facebook tagging all her family in a status saying that the rumour her son has coronavirus isn’t true

My god if my mother posted something like that to Facebook I’d be so sorely embarrassed, why are proles so retarded and crass? Then there’s loads of other proles commenting ‘u ok hun?’

FW: FW: FW: LOL!!

>as the biggest lad on /brit/ (Me) I could safely say I would smash any and all of you

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Chopper Harris was the only true blue Aussie cunt, we'll not see his like again

vocaroo.com/8qaOZCfPpSG

haha yeah that's pretty funny i guess

my brother is such a fucking cringe twat, he unironically spent £1200 on one single gold tooth

Right lads it's 8PM AEDT
Time for a symptoms check-in
Me personally, a touch of fatigue and my leg fell asleep from sitting cross legged

definitely, he should've gotten five smaller ones for better value

french niggas be cray after 4 days of quarantine

the disabled are the first to be laid off

feel fatigued. bit of a tickle in the chest. coughed at work today and the apprentice yelled out "coronavirus"

You’re losing your mind brotha

he sounds like a real character, get him to post on /brit/

Why are gay men so obsessed with sucking dick? Straight men aren't obsessed with eating pussy, we'd much rather receive than give

no hes a scumbag normal cunt who considers HMP his 2nd home

ResidentSleeper