/brit/

cunt's married what the fuck is she doing in a club

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Yea all me

I'm 5'9 but I say I'm 5'10.

*tips*

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wasn't worth posting earlier either

>That lad who Jay posted me at the end of the last thread.

I am healthy, I am part of a running club, 48 RHR, eat well, 5 fruit and veg, under my sugar /fat recommend amounts each day etc.

I got pneumonia somehow (although they didn't spot it straight away and told me it was just a cold lel) and was in hospital for two days whilst they fed me anitbiotics.

If that had have been now Irish lad would be panic posting me to try and make his life more itneresting.

it's hilarious

china itself is a virus

google.co.uk/search?q=define+hilarious

Alri lads, tesco worker here. We're now gonna be working with a 3-item ration policy so the animals can stop wiping the stock out.
Also got accused of hoarding items outback for my own family (I was and will continue to do so haha)

>I am healthy, I am part of a running club, 48 RHR, eat well, 5 fruit and veg, under my sugar /fat recommend amounts each day etc.

I got pneumonia somehow (although they didn't spot it straight away and told me it was just a cold lel) and was in hospital for two days whilst they fed me anitbiotics.

If that had have been now Irish lad would be panic posting me to try and make his life more itneresting.

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>tfw you'll never play legos with mina

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>.co.uk

virus

he's so weird
dont think he's even from Sweden

based. will be doing the same when I'm back in tommorow.

have over 80 bottles of these stockpiled in the back of my car
I'm not getting caught about with my bevs

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fucked it

need a haircut but shops is shut

antivirus software going haywire at this post

>If that had have been now
You're awful healthy for a stroke victim

A Brit will never out banter an Australian, never seen it happen

Really not that unbelievable senpai (admittedly it's up a bit since my gym closed for the ol 'ronavirus)

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me atm

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Brave of you. How did they react

duo lipa? where's the other one

Yanks barely register on the banter scale.

rancid little trollop

Have a resting heartrate of I think around 70. Not sure if it's good or bad.

Can any fellow bongoloid tell me how supermarkets are currently fairing?
I want to get some whisky and pasta this weekend.

when the whole country will be cocooning against the virus, I will be coCOOMing

did the same and they sent me home with a laptop.

any time i test mine its like 98

painfully average

oi giz a ribena

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Got a willy and its going to waste

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New car deals are gonna be incredible in a couple months

Ford and GM offering 3 months deferred payments and 0% financing for 7 years

Seeing $10k off MSRP on most cars online

Imagine being me and working in a supermarket during these uncertain times

>fellow bongoloid
fuck OFF you fat yank cunt

>over 200k

yes lets lose our minds over the population of a small town haha wahey

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Didn’t mention anything about yanks though did I?

you get first choice of stock.

don't think you understand the concept of exponential growth

got a bottle of strawberry ribena in aswell
fuck drinking water

dubs and based boris closes the schools and unis

nah you're alright, already got coronavirus don't need depression as well

plenty of whisky
no pasta

guys stop posting 1000s of these freak anomalies of young people being hospitalised

shutup freak

>whisky
knock yourself out

>pasta
go at opening times or to an obscure non-supermarket shop. I went to a huge sainsburys at opening time and there are about 30 bags of pasta on the shelves total. Been in several others during daytime and there's no dried pasta or rice to be had

You ain't getting pasta mate. Go on early (6am) but expect a LOT of people to be doing the same.

Nigeria has placed a travel ban on people coming from 13 countries worst affected by coronavirus as five new cases are recorded in Africa's most-populous nation

South African President Cyril Ramaphosa has met leaders of the country's main political parties and has appealed for solidarity in the fight against coronavirus. The country has confirmed 116 cases. Meanwhile, in Cape Town, more than 1,700 people are waiting to learn when they will be allowed to leave a cruise ship, after six people with symptoms of the virus were taken ashore for testing

Kenya has confirmed three more cases of coronavirus, bringing the total to seven. Health Minister Mutahi Kagwe says all the cases are people who arrived from outside the country.

Egypt has confirmed that two patients with coronavirus have died, bringing the total death toll to six. Confirmed positive cases now stand at 196. Since the outbreak began, 26 patients in Egypt have recovered from the virus and have been discharged from the isolation hospitals, health officials say

Tanzania's semi-autonomous archipelago of Zanzibar has confirmed its first case of coronavirus, the East African nation's Prime Minister Kassim Majaliwa said. Mainland Tanzania has reported three cases

Tunisia has imposed a curfew 12 hours a day, to try to curb the spread of the coronavirus. The country has confirmed 24 cases of the virus. More than 2,000 recent travellers are in self-quarantine, according to official figures

Burkina Faso has announced its first death from Covid-19. The authorities say the patient was a diabetic woman aged 62 years. The West African nation has confirmed a total of 26 cases

they'll all be closed tomorrow
t. knower

Supermarkets get raided by retards every morning, go to the corner shop and support local businesses

Considering buying a Jaguar once I'm financially well off enough in a few years. Seems pretty tasteful and they're rare enough here to give me a special snowflake feeling.

last flight out of africa tonight 9pm

A foul smelling, sticky, black formless mass just exited my bowel

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grimmest post of the thread so far

simply do not care
it's that simple

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shut the fuck up

yeh no pasta
rice is about some places

*wipes my arse all over it*

nary a pixel

Why yes that is a young female. What's your point?

we call that shit user
>jags
>tasteful
literally the most posh tart cars second only to range rovers

>5'10
it is still on going

thought you described a poo at first until i understood it was a yank haha

Bet she doesn't even know how to fish

'

>>>/reddit/

the American Republican party truly is the most interesting political party in the West imo. Its strength is that it can radically transform into whatever it wants seamlessly.
>Federalist, Protectionist Whigs: check
>Anti-Slavery industrialists and pro-centralised government: check
>Radically progressive pro-welfare reformists: check
>Isolationist laissez-faire capitalists: check
>Anti-communist economically centrist paleoconservatives: check
>Evangelical Christian Neoliberal Neoconservatives: check
>Nationalist populist white nativist workers party: check

all other western political parties, to my knowledge, have not gone through so many transformations.

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tesco won't deliver until the 7th april
that's 3 weeks away
and they'll probably fail to deliver half the stuff because it's suddenly unavailable on the day
it's a grim, dire, miserable state of affairs
feel like money is becoming worthless compared to actual groceries that i need

>all welsh schools to shut by friday
it happening lads
the chinks have really done it this time

Weedman has started selling toilet paper

the ring's on her right hand

bet she's finnish

big think: government is asking supermarkets to do elderly opening hours to round up the stragglers

There is actually a lot of speculation that some big measures are going to be put in place tomorrow

...

she looks shes 12 but she's got stretchmarks already. grim grim grim

Bent
Incel
Lunatic

and what the fuck does that have to do with British culture?

all scotish schools to shut by friday

>schools in Scotland and Wales shutting but not England
LOL at Angloids
GOTT STRAFE ENGLAND

instagram.com/curvy.berlin/

Basically all women with any semblance of an ass or previous weight loss have stretch marks virg

Couldn't think of a British party or a European party as interesting as the GOP
The Tories are equivalent to the American Democrats in most cases

the virgin gaelic runt genetics vs the chad british stock

they are. can practically guarantee it.

there are people in this thread who are planning on relying on just eat to survive

didn't ask

and?

yank

the virgin celt vs the CHAD anglo saxon

yeah sorry i don't meet obese women everyday unlike in your country

>Tfw no russian art hoe gf

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anyone who wasn't a brain dead moron stocked up weeks ago

who else /self disinfecting/ here

was doing that anyway tbf

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Booked my next two weeks of deliveries but might as well keep booking if this is gonna be the case

Escort agency called " Just Coom"

WE'RE ALL GONA DIE!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Yeah, so? Takeaways don't need to close since you're not socialising in there anyway

Yes.

>shutting down schools because of a more deadly flu that targets old people
blimey

Bet they all fucking stink

thai ladyboy escorts plymouth

How do i become a girl's irl simp?

>close schools
>people need to work
>ask the grandparents to look after the kids
>grandparents die of corona exposure

GENOUIS

>JUST EAT SUSPENDING ALL DELIVERIES WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT
>JUST EAT SUSPENDING ALL DELIVERIES WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT
>JUST EAT SUSPENDING ALL DELIVERIES WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT

Absolute creature, ugly as shit, raise your standards
Don’t believe you meet any women at all actually

did somebody say just coom

they took eurovision from us lads

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genuine question, how do you guys afford to order takeout so often?

It's like £10 minimum right

>tfw got 8kg of rice, 5kg of pasta, 24 eggs, lots of frozen mince and a lot of tinned stuff
comfy

glad i took a week's leave now before the schools are off and all the 'rents take their time off

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHh

they cancel it every year because of the flu
common occurrence bro

don't really care what you believe or don't

they don't go out

Wasn’t funny the first, second, or third time you posted it

coof

Get two-three meals worth, stuff you can reheat or eat cold

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The second 1 person panic buys then eveyone is doing it
Mental

WHAT

>spain in quarantine
>belgium in quarantine
>italy in quarantine

its just the media hyping it up

cared enough to reply

>Wetherspoons ramping up catering operations and implementing delivery service to 'feed the nation'

eggs don't keep

mad how people are going to supermarkets to stock up when they can just go to a cash and carry

wouldn't last me 3 days

Should be a week before you're eating rice and pasta to survive
Nice one

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

post peng tings

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today on This Morning, Phillip finds out what he'd look like by this age if he had secretly been straight all his life

You're actual poverty if you can't afford £10 a day

I'm here without you, baby
But you're still with me in my dreams

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That was an insult, in a similar vein to 'faggot' or 'wanker'.

God bless the captains of industry

Imagine Holly doing things to your cock with needles and pins

t. wears cargo shorts and thinks anyone cares what he thinks

they keep for about a month desu

eurovision cancelled

They keep for ages

looks like a moderately passing ftm

pedro desperate for (you)s

it is the media hyping it up

leadership is now committed to this lockdown strategy and noone can afford to waver

Everyone on my Snapchat thinks self isolating is funny

What the fuck is this shit?
Someone protect the Asian qts!

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>that tat
why oh why did she do it?

you can freeze eggs

That's what the guy on Rogan was saying that we need to be thoughtful about what we do. Are we doing more harm than good by closing schools.

This in my opinion will only work if the kids are prevented from playing and interacting with one another during the day. This can't be treated like some school holiday break.

can get all of you as much toilet paper as you want (got an inside man in the toilet paper industry) but it'll cost you

can't wait to shout NIGGERS on the street and face zero consequences

Nicola Sturgeon is now leading the UK
While Bojo cowers in fear

cotsco brum was a madhouse on monday when I went

I wear tight latex cargo shorts because they are practical

That literally wouldnt make any sense you daft cunt, delivery services are gonna be promoted rather than going to restaurants

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Grim

Imagine cuddling with Holly Willoughby and pixie lott and they're massaging you and playing with your hair and talking to you in soft asmr voices

they're gonna be the ones that die lol
this shit might infect like 70% of people

Is that Aisha?

I can afford it, £10 a meal is wasteful as fuck though

twitter.com/djleon1983/status/1240247003008942080

dont take chances /brit/

she's saggy but i can't complain

Mad how yanks will believe this story lol

Looks like a lad with a hairy chest wearing a bra

hook me up mate i'm starving

Does piss me off seeing the chinkies walking round with their stupid little masks, they brought this shit here and then have the nerve to stick around
Go home

It is only an insult if I take it as such, it is not for you to decide.
Nothing about this post is true

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the most hysterical and self-important people control the narrative

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and who’s going to be delivering these services? The delivery people who likely will be isolating or ill themselves?

>shouting to an empty street
brave

no you can't

m8.... the prepper stockpile of milk and eggs is cow and chicken

china intentionally released the virus

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not supposed to be, i just enjoy shouting it

What on earth happened to her?

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proofs?

my nan cant even work the remote let alone order something online

quite like that style of tat
seems most of the new russian 18 year olds in the legalporno stable have it

Right there in the pudding

why is he sucking a sandwich

Bojo ordering the last chopper out of Benidorm as we speak

i can only get so erect

h

Yes

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Nan's too old to know what the telephone even is

really wonder what happened

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Mate's a delivery lad and they've to sanitise their hands all day and aren't allowed to make a direct hand-off to people n that

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hypochondriac

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Reckon she ate a lot of food and gained weight

>limpopo

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how long before we can be arrested for going outside

Arrested and put where? They're closing prison wings and releasing them early to avoid riots like they had in Italy

The wall is a cruel mistress.

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-12 hours

>that cat in a hat

Uganda be kiddin me

what did she do