/brit /

kek this is me

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going to leave care packages for sold old people but all the food containers will be empty apart from farts I will store in them.

This but do it 50 times and janny won't notice because he's only ever in /brit/

kek this is me

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what if the queen were to die of ebola?
how big would the news be?

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Janny mate this isn't the time for your autism, we're in a worldwide crisis

THE VIRUS IS GONNA KILL US ALL

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Every Premier league club should send one infected fan in to a room. The last one standing wins the Premier league, the first three dead get relegated

need my stupid parents to hurry up and die so i can inherit their shit

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Had this wank VERY close to bug catching fetish. I don't have it I think it's gross and I mean the girl was a demon and could not get infected by humans but damn it was nice to cum to that

maybe I was just pent up

The Great Unpaid One

honestly might just quit toil lads.
can't be fucked with it. boss doesn't speak to me for weeks and then suddenly says 'where is this x' out of the blue.

can't live a life of petty stresses like this.

The government has announced a mortgage holiday for homeowners but it must suspend rents too.

Millions of people rent in the UK.

Suspend rents. Ban evictions. Now.

Put it this way m8 when the Queen dies all comedy shows will be pulled off TV for a week after.

mad how the virus is at nearly 200k infected and china, america and iran are still lying through their teeth
its definitely millions by now

hometoil commences tomorrow
don't have a desk so my job for which I usually use a desktop PC and 3 monitors will be done solely from a mid-range laptop on the sofa

this cat must be freed

mr boofers is NOT happy with me haha

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Sick to death of coronavirus talk.

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landlords are fucking scum they wont allow it
landlords are worse than mortgage companies, airlines and insurance companies combined

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Unironically probably have the virus lads, sister just started showing symptoms and I spent all weekend at her house. She said it starts with sore muscles like you ran a long distance the day before, a sore throat and shortness of breath which comes from a sore back when inhaling deeply

She's a GP too so would probably know. Now I have a sore throat and I reckon tomorrow I'll wake up an even sorer throat and aching muscles

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Greater daemon of Nogirl.

what is that mouth

khajit has wares

Thinking of a better place

hometoil is grim lad. you're going to be fiddling around on a tiny screen, probably without a mouse whereas the toillords will be breathing down your neck a lot more than they would in person because they're determined to stop you from pissing about

this is why we should have voted corbyn
hope rorke is happy with himself

Damn I can't wait until I'm out of this shithole and in Canada.

Out of these cramped but not walkable ugly filthy towns to nice wide open spacious metropolises with good public transport.
Somewhere with actual nature and not tiny dogshit parks.
Will miss some of the history though, but on the whole this country no longer offers anything to people and has an awful quality of life.

We already millions have already gotten it and had no idea. The symptoms can be mild enough not to be tested. Probably over 100 million

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can't tell because whenever I'm just laying around at home I sit on weird angles on my couch and feel sore anyway

Mad how this scene in Blade Runner is supposed to be the most crushing moment of the movie, where the main character realises that the person he loves doesn't truly love him back, but is simply a commodity to be bought and sold by every random Joe in the world. Yet it's what millions of men are experiencing daily as the prevalence of Instagram and Onlyfans grows and grows.

This single soul-crushing moment, signifying the complete normalisation of "paying for love" and the destruction of the very concept of love that could only be capable in a nightmarish cyberpunk dystopia, is already real. There is no escape.

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what happens when normies realise that you don't need work to live a fulfilling life? end of society?

magadan in spring

It’s gonna kill us all

you'll be pissed off by ridiculous weather and having to drive everywhere mate.

the sun isn't greener, its just life is, as it were, grim.

honestly reckon this whole corona shite is a just a jewish conspiracy to fuck with me (specifically)

only (singular) reason i didnt vote corbyn is because i cant in good conscience vote for an IRA sympathising, paki importing, nuclear disarming socialist who doesnt have the spine to actually voice his real opinions on BREXIT
dont actually mind his policies but he wasnt strong enough for leadership

Anywhere but Russia then.

I'm in charge now toilberg. I'm in charge.

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i have these symptoms all the time for years lol

/brit/ thinks it's free thinking and unique but like the rest of the population in GB, reveals itself as a panicky herd of insects when the media wants you to worry

yeah aha probably
*walks away and talks to someone intelligent*

Fever spiked to 102f 38.9c now and I can’t go to the ER because I don’t have a thousand or so dollars and my marketplace insurance doesn’t cover it

We are currently living through a totally normal set of events.

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yearly appraisal this week.
boss is certain to give me a shit review because he thinks im just not delivering enough.

does my absolute nut in.

good lad

Unmitigated pandemic model has 500k deaths but the whole ordeal is over by September, might be the best option.

onlyfans isn't paying for love
it's paying for porn by supporting independent creators and empowering women

isn't Yas Forums meant to be vehemently anti-jew? surely they should be in favour of stuff like onlyfans instead of the porn industry?

'rents just cancelled June holiday to Greece cause of the 'rona, fuck sake was really looking forward to being on my own all week.

>69 new cases of coronavirus confirmed in Ireland
haha, 69

me too...
i forget what its like to feel young and healthy
should stop eating shite

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kek

Insects don't feel fear.

what would the ER even do for you though?

Gonna watch a film to take my mind off corona

self isolate before youve got to have it la'

i know for a fact the government is waiting until the end of next week to close the schools and thus keep me on this course for its whole 2 week duration.

and you are unique for pointing that out? piss off nerd

its the little things in life x

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>it's an american bioweapon

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>still living with your parents
its your own fault really

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need a goblin gf to batter my bollocks as a nightly routine

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not even worried about corona, just pissed off about toil.

realised from thinking i was sick with corona that my life is so grim due to toil i dont even care about serious illness besides it providing a break from the soul crushing monotony of endless stress.

might i suggest 28 days left

There's a reason that "paying for love" was in quotes, brainlet.

>Isn't Yas Forums meant to be vehemently anti-jew?
>Why wouldn't Yas Forums then be in favour of something that is literally a direct product of the porn industry and it's effects on western women, culminating in the jews ultimate goal of erasing Western culture and the western people?
Good question mate, you're a proper IQ powerhouse, you are.

this is bascially me

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do they really

lmao the madlad actually did it

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Brits who move to Canada have no idea the types of winter in store for them

the gross overreaction has caused more damage than the disease itself

already self isolating lad. he said we can do it over the phone.

the grim thing is i've been working very hard, its jsut that i haven't been given the direction to like seal the deal on a lot of work.

just kicked the proverbial bucket

Uni has closed today lads, everything will be done online from now on.

One question that worries me the most about coronavirus, for which I can find no information about whatsoever, is whether covid-19 is curable?

People talk about "recovery", but that doesn't mean the virus isn't existing in your body anymore, only that the symptoms have subsided. Primary syphilis is asymptomatic but it doesn't mean it won't arise with nasty symptoms later in life. If the virus were to still remain (;incurable) then that is fucking terrifying. No mention anywhere at all about this major fucking detail. Maybe the higher ups know it's incurable and won't tell us to prevent hysteria, only it's the reason why we're seeing entire nations going into shutdown to try prevent infections.

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I like the cold. Just not miserable gray skies and rain.
Also I've spent a lot of time in Toronto and Vancouver and managed perfectly fine without a car. Nice cities than you can breath done nice air in.

won't bring your uncle back you fucking cretin

If you’re going to attempt to defend our broken healthcare system can you instead not do that

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>There's a reason that "paying for love" was in quotes, brainlet.
there's no need to be rude about it you nasty little virgin

why aren't you making all the big decisions? we need someone with your experience and expertise.

does this look like a virology thread?

do one.

watching doomsday preppers

Contagion is a brilliant ome

The lunch

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no it isn't

you know how many viruses are in your fucking DNA right now?

>Uni has closed today
yeah, i can tell with all the boring virgins in the thread

how the fuck are we meant to know

How are you going to survive the inevitable economic depression?

cant believe this is still going
ironic thing is tismo mick is nowhere to be seen and its just the wanna-be-irish little englanders that spew it anymore

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hey moon
if i was to fall....

Heard this theory that you can feed of sun and water and just not eat food at all. Might look into it further

She'll turn her music on you
You won't have to think twice
She's pure as New York snow
She got Bette Davis eyes

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at the pub
probably the last time for a long time...

thesun.co.uk/dear-deidre/11185593/waited-months-sex-girlfriend-penis/

yeah there is, you fucking mong. you literally think demonstrable evidence that the jewish pushing of pornography into the hands of young men and young women will destroy western civilisation and the natural relationships between the sexes, is actually anti-jewish. you're retarded as fuck.

It was confirmed fairly early on that you can recover but get infected again. No cure yet.

back to /r/pakistan you go

what the fuck is the ER supposed to do about your fever?
answer that

much like the common cold

/brit/

mad that every fucking thick deano mongo at my work is now an expert on epidemiology and economics

sorry lad, could you repeat that? couldn't hear it over the sounds of your uncle begging for mercy from a superior Gaelic bvll.

forgot to turn my work phone off after work.
6pm just as im about to start cooking it goes off.
look at it instinctively
boss said: 'can you tell me what you meant by soon did you mean tomorrow or by the end of the week? or next week? what does soon mean?'
6pm in the evening, an hour after i've clocked out but i'm obliged to respond because you can tell he's livid at me for some reason.

need to quit really.

what're you drinking? x

Hard to tell yet. No matter what happens, those in charge will claim their actions averted what would have certainly been a worse outcome. The other side will deride these actions regardless of outcomes and claim the opposite. The problem is that so many scientists and public officials have become so politicized there will no trustworthy, objective and neutral analysis.

Bossberg said he will personally check my temperature from tomorrow on. Creepy fuck

a czech, a yank, a danish, and a russian poster walk into a /brit/ thread....

the maggots are gnawing at his rotting flesh

holy cringe

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ah fuck this cant be fucked with this course just want to work from home ffs I want to be a USA citizen away from the cowards in this country who treat me this way today under the Geneva Convention ... most cowardly of all this course can be delivered online yet I am detained here against my will ... I want a Lawyer to see how obvious an attack on my humanity this is and get me out of this obviously cowardly country ...

so are automation/UBI/etc and other such shit we were predicting in the near future still going to happen after this?

spunk russian

would only let toilberg check my temp if an anal thermometer was involved

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haha ur uncle fell to the superior IRA

you forgot the pennsylvanian, which I am

>happened to book my holiday for while this shit was going on
>wasn't planning to do anything with my time off anyway so it doesn't matter if I can't leave the house
>i'm getting paid to sit here and play oblivion and post shite while everyone else is getting wank tier sick pay
Feels good.

>sorry lad, could you repeat that? couldn't hear it over the sounds of your uncle begging for mercy from a superior Gaelic bvll.
>the maggots are gnawing at his rotting flesh
>won't bring your uncle back you fucking cretin

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"automation" is a meme

I get laid because of my Irish heritage

>it's just a flu bro
>Clear path of infection West leading to entire countries quarantining
>Governments having to bail out their industries everywhere
>hundreds of thousands out of work for an indefinite period of time, with more to come
>NHS will be overwhelmed, anyone short of death's door will be turned away or neglected

spoons?

think there's a few in this thread

We light a candle on an earth we made into hell
And we pretend that we're in heaven
Each time we do we get the blind man's ticket
And we know that nothing is true
I saw a priest kill a cop on the tv
And I know they're our heroes too
We sing the death song kids
Because we got no future
And we wanna be just like you
We wanna be just like you
We wanna be just like you

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actually that wans't confirmed, because they think there might of been some measurement error with those people.