/brit/

Girl I’ve been talking to but haven’t yet met shagged someone else last night

>italy running at a mortality rate of around 7%
wew

Think I'm getting a fever.

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based

i.4cdn.org/pol/1584385037804.jpg

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You dont know idris elba?

the toilfu smells nice

Actually, you're wrong. There's an unknown intermediatary. Likely a hawk or owl or other avian and then it mutated to transfer onto humans

start shaming panic buyers

/brit/ more like /dead/

we think my parents have it

>its just a virus from owls

Unlucky bro, happens to the best of us and it hyrts everytime

As a side note I've shagged near or over (approximately) 30 different times and it doesnt get any less heart wrenching does it

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feel like pure shit just want the football back

>Top tier
Wifebeater
Peroni

>Good tier
Amstel
Staropramen
San Miguel

>If it's there I'll have it tier
Heineken
Moretti
Kronenburg
Fosters
Prahva

>Bad tier
Budweiser
Carlsberg

>Complete piss
Carling

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Set myself the goal of creating a Twitter account with 10k followers by the end of the day. Currently on 33. This may be more difficult than I first thought.

brit actor infected

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friendly reminder that measures like these haven’t been seen in peace times before

It’s just a flu though

We're all going to die

actual good rankings

What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!

what does this mean for the fast and the furious extended cinematic universe?

I know and she still wants to go on our first date tomorrow lmao, thinking of using the new government measures to just say I’m gonna leave it or should I not be a bitch and just shag her aswell

Predict the UK death toll
>16,000
Predict the global death toll
>1.3 million

>muh supermax
That just means "super maximum security."
doesn't mean your in a straight jacket in a padded room.
this is what colorado supermax cells look like.

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boris has just released in a statement all virgin freaks will get state mandated gfs to avoid individuals becoming utter cretinous louts that might harvest potential super viruses in the future

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good list mate

>170,000
>45 million

WHY CONTAIN IT

Don't know man, think you should prolong the date for now because her need for cock is probably satiated.

She might be lying to you to make you jealous though

Getting drunk at home for Paddys I reckon, way I see it, if one of us has Corona, it's no different to having a chicken pox party for the kids

50 million
6.8 billion

supermax you say?

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>170,000
nay chance

Not really any panic though other than the toilet roll mongs

whats this in london rents

So what proof do i have to submit to get these 2 weeks off if, for example my brother, has developed a bad cough and temperature

>Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
>Guide reproduction wisely — improving fitness and diversity.
>Unite humanity with a living new language.
>Rule passion — faith — tradition — and all things with tempered reason.
>Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
>Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
>Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
>Balance personal rights with social duties.
>Prize truth — beauty — love — seeking harmony with the infinite.
>Be not a cancer on the earth — Leave room for nature — Leave room for nature.

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Yet another policy stolen from leftychads.

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Reckon I've found the perfect embodiment of a Tarq type

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Hella good post

60k
6 million

reckon my unitoil room was smaller than this

6,000
98,000

>Avoid pubs for 12 weeks

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You lads are underestimating our death numbers, boggles the mind that people still don’t get what we’re facing

NICE DAY TO GO TO THE PUB

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Anyone hoping old people die is a psychopath

Hope old people die

You are a fucking nut case mate, shut the fuck up will you.

love seeing naked girls so i can imagine fucking them right up their bastard arses

Do you ever get the impression that lesbians hate men?
Like I'm aware they don't want to shag us but the HATRED is PALPABLE.
I hugged a lesbian once and she slapped me.
Mind you I wasn't wearing clothes at the time but violence is still unnecessary.

Unironically off to the pub tonight

Told the gf to come over to mine because I'm working from home for the foreseeable future.

Can't wait to get paid by toilberg to pump her.

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the whole "british stoicism" thing is the biggest crock of shit

they hate ireland for being so pro-palestine

reckon its all a larp act for attention or to be different especially in current year

my mum said I’m not allowed to go out with my mates

I’m 27

all the people in the world multiplied by 2

>"AHA yes, we're back in the middle of Coronavirus fever. That's right I will be playing disease and general illness based tracks all day long here on BBC radio Norfolk. Please remember to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds each time you urinate and / or defacate, and even if you just generally feel like you may have gotten some sort of germ on your hand. I have been told this infection is an airborne pathogen and so really, all this washing hands nonsense is useless anyway, I tell you I haven't washed my hands after doing my buisness in a public washroom for decades, all of those surfaces are more polluted than my gland. Anyway up next it's those high pitches Mancunians, of course it's the bee gees with Night fever"

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FUCK you. stay the fuck home you stupid cunt. you can drink at home with a few mates

kek this is me

Young boys get nonced early -> develop a fetish for male on male and become gay

Girls in same scenario -> grow up hating men and the idea of sex with them and become lesbians

That's funny because last night while posting against the shills here on the Corona threads I suddenly came to a dreadful but irrefutable conclusion. A Corona Virus infection cannot be eradicated from a body. Once infected you're infected for life. No immunity can be built up against it because it uses the immune system's antibodies to further infect and create cytokine storms in various organs which are Ebola level devastating. It's highly communicable but indiscernable since a carrier can be contagious while not displaying symptoms. The death rate is deceptive since it has only been circulating for a very short time, weeks in most places. Thus we only see it's initial onset and that is displayed with it wiping out the very old and sick. Since it is incurable and can reinfect multiple times in one sufferer, we have no idea what it will do 5 months 5 years or even 10 years down the line. It could be 80% fatal, even more regardless of age or health. Eventually it will wear down just about everybody except some few freaks of nature destined to be the progenitors of a new race of men. Thus it could be the ultimate threat to humanity. And so I reached my irrefutable conclusion. Quarantine is going to prove futile under the current plan. 1 month 2 months, 3 months, are irrelevant. No matter how long you quarantine the disease will come back because there will be survivors who have recovered. But as I said above all recoveries are temporary and in the end these survivors will start the spread of the disease again. Thus we must eradicate everyone who has it. This will be very dangerous and I propose it be carried out by armored vehicles with the soldiers inside under full biological combat warfare conditions. All sorts of weapons must be used, even flamethrowers. The entire planet must be scoured for the infected and regardless of race or age or sex all infected must be wiped off the map immediately and then burned. There can be no exceptions.

I am good mates with a Lesbian with autism
My experience with Lesbians has been pleasant, I don't have anything against them.
Homosexual men on the otherhand, despise them

it's just a nasty flu that will fucking obliterate the old and the sick
my housemate is a lesbian and the only men she hates are trannies

god hispanic girls turn to shit after like 15

it isnt

just seen an armored car, looked like a saracen or something, with 6 full biohazard suited dudes going down stockport road in cheadle
think things are kicking off

Why would you go on a date with a woman you’ve been talking to and she’s been getting shagged by other men. Grim

chips in the oven about to do some sausages

dutch pm just told the country that he has chosen for controlled spread of the virus
allowing the healthy people to get infected, hoping for "group immunity".

recon this is properly setting are Tim off wherever he may be

bucks is a lesbian with autism

as in last time we communed she said she had discovered she was autistic

maddox finally lost it

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twitter is calling it "The Boomer Remover"
they hate old people so much
They hate that there are more old people than young people and elections are basically decided completely by them lmao

>wherever he may

reckon you know fine well his full address and post code

I work in Government and I'm still being required to go into toil tomorrow despite the PM literally making it government policy to work from home if you can.

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fake news meme

Can't say i'm surprised to be honest

Stupid Jewish slag. I’ll be out in the pub tomorrow night drinking Guinness as any true Irishman would.

Screaming

youtu.be/LXxFeg08LpY

swear to god if Last of Us: Part ll gets delayed or cancelled indefinitely due to insensitivity concerns I am going to be very upset

Shaggers law is you don’t care who or what she’s shagged aslong as you’ve shagged it too

was driving down barlow moor road in manchester today and some fat slag was yelling at her bf
reckon everyone's going a bit mental

Spend five minutes with a group of lesbians (read: a female football team) and you'll know they hate men.

Being a clumsy drunk, when I was at uni I got into lots of fights, but they've never started so unnecessarily as with lesbians. I've been glassed in the face by one for making a move on her friend who I thought was straight.

WFH=Overrated

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media says people are calling it "Boomer Remover" it gets copied all over then people start calling it "Boomer Remover"
media says people are stockpiling toilet paper, it gets headlines all over then people start buying toilet paper

need the fake news media out of business pronto

Asked the FEMALE flatmates (3) to rank the MALE flatmates (4 of us) in order

Here are the results
1. Fat white guy
2. Me
3. Arab guy
4. Black guy

The black guy looks decent too. Think Yas Forums overblows the whole black man white woman thing a WEE bit.

as an ecofascist, I think that the coronavirus is wonderful

Lads how bad is corona virus really?

kek

bad

Macron says "We are at war," meanwhile Boris says avoid the pub if you can

Never heard this law

Don’t get all this craic about dates. How can you sit down and eat with filth like that. Bring her on to a night club and get her mouldy and feek her to death in the men’s toilets and leave her on after that.

BREAKING: Janny of /brit/ tests positive with COVID-19 (which is why he hasn't been around for a while)

it's fine
would lay of the drugs if I were you though mate x

back to twitter

not defending them but it must be a living hell having predators all around you 24/7

imagine people you're not attracted to flocking to you like flies on shit
must be a living hell
woke

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>7 people living in a flat

God I seriously feel so bad for people that live in your country. I can probably buy a 3 story house for what you're paying a year in rent for as well

lol

It looks like a dream sequence hahah it doesn’t make any sense

Fascism means death
Communism means life

I thought we were supposed to be building herd immunity
Now we're staying indoors?

Bollocks. Boris is giving Churchill-esque speeches and he loves it. War rhetoric should never be used in peacetime, especially when you're faced with a virus that has a mortality rate of less than 1%.

why?

why did schaub rub his ass?
why is everything he does so fucking strange?

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overdramatic continentals and stoic brits

eaten some shortbreads

Yeah will be

st patties day

but it's fun
we all go out to the club as shaggers and shagettes

Schaub is a God

was about to reply to you before the flags fully loaded but then i realised you werent west mids tranny

It’s good sport and most importantly good practice if you wanna find someone decent eventually you gotta be a good dater

>Self-isolate for 2 weeks
>Someone that didn't self-self isolate got Corona 1 week into your isolation
>Corona'd person infects you the day you return from self-isolation

What's the point?

Well that was fucking pointless.

cant believe 190 still does the replying to himself gimmick

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stay out the pub lads
shaggers only

Girls don't know what they want. If suddenly tomorrow guys showed zero sexual interest in girls, they're want the attention back in an instant. There are a lot of attractive girls who work out how to cope with lots of male attention without resorting to being butch and attacking guys you don't like.

BASED

do you ever hear your female flatmates getting shagged?

pukka gear really

>put your litter in a bin
>later you see litter that someone else dropped
what's the point of bins?

I’m a predator, that’s what I am. Top of the food chain.

my mates in HMP nottingham and its fully kicking off in there, an inmate died in custody a few days ago so tensions were high anyway and now they've just cancelled all visitations and have got the wings on lockdown which means they get 1 hour out their cell (to shower) a day. theres gonna be massive prison riots happening in the next few days. even families are going to start gathering outside the prison expect to see carnage within HMP soon

Why was he meeting with Justin Trudeau's wife?

Where you searching for meaning in that clip? There was none. It was a weird sequence of actions and dialogue and that’s why it’s funny. God garcin you’re thick as planks sometimes.

the names bond *cough*, excuse me, james bond

Dutch PM just confirmed he is going for the CHAD herd immunity strategy.

Virgin lockdown fags BTFO.

Mum is getting very stressed about coronavirus and it pains me to see her like that, but instead of listening to my calming words she keeps eating up boomer fake news on facebook and working herself into even more of a panic

wetty

Look how many self proclaimed nazis and fascists are laughing at coronavirus

mutts law

OH NO NO NO

all the cancelations and lockdown is due to coronavirus forgot to mention that part, was face timing him just before its fucking mad in there everyones kicking their doors in and screaming

calling in arty on a RS2 server and seeing the killfeed light up your name on the first strike is thrilling as fuck lads

yes is that the manchester nonce hunters? think i got something of interest for you

WHY CONTAIN IT

kmt free the mandem

Feel sick lads

Was sick of hearing about corona 2 weeks ago

Seemed pretty innocuous.
Don't hate Joe but the fanboys who sperg over literally nothing?
>dude haha they're acting like normal people holy fuck lmao! front page of reddit here we go!
faggot

erm.. why is everything shutdown there then?

>tfw I have a cough, a sore throat, a temperature but still went to work today and plan to go tomorrow
I aren't going to destroy my life because I got a cold.

want to wank tonight but soon shall be finishing a bottle of wine, for the penis that dont look well
drats
cannot last a day without a wank shall have to crackout the Not Good Porn

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Any other call centre toiler here?

>We won’t close no matter what

Can’t wait to work work work

good, hope the guards serrupticiously contaminate prisons with it and the NHS don't need to respond

officially working from home lads

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It isn't. He said he wants young people to still go out about their lives.

>2020 I am forgotten

talmbout ass brah?

miss her so much

oi boreeza wheres the visitations f a m

once again, when the chips are down, britain leads the way
what would johnny foreigner do without us?

GET HIM JANNY

But they aren’t, it was a strange interaction. I thought it was pretty funny anyway, if you didn’t that’s okay.

the second arse slap is suspect

NO THINK OF THE GERMERINOS

NOT THE CORONABINIS

NOT THE PENSIONINOS

much talk of work from home options at the moment my fellow call-slave

had to give toilberg the answers today:

>Do you have a phoneline?
>Do you have broadband?
>Do you have a laptop?
>Do you have a quiet space you can work alone?

fucking hell noseberg just let me chill out at home and coof to death in peace you fucking cunt

told them I have a big dog that barks all day so I don't have a quiet place; waiting to see what happens now

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i want to light her hair on fire

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God I hope I don't have to do my finals at uni. Please go by past grades

do you reckon someone who actively posts on /brit/ will succumb to the 'virus and keel over & die?

remember that in day 10 of the beginning 28 days later montage they ran out of toilet paper

might cop

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hopefully me aha

I hope so.

no lad
its the 'na
its called the 'na

OI BOJO THE CLOWN WHERES THE VENTILATORS FOR THE GRENFILL x HILLSBOROUGH REHABILITATION FUND YOU BAMBACLART WASTE YUT

yes

K dude.

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