/brit/

I work at a sainsburys and and we’re capping online delivery orders from Wednesday meaning you’ll be lucky to get a delivery. Also you wouldn’t want one anyway because none of our wash our hands and your shopping is handled/comes into contact with at least 5 people

just pull it out you pathetic virgin fucking freak

This but Tesco.

awful farts today

reckon I got COVID-19 in me arse

Koreaboo who couldn't get his work visa for Korea so now lives in China

me and my boy michael arteta gona tear this place up when we get out

more and more younger patients are going into hospital in italy and france
worrying

Advanced case of yellow fever

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1584373257679.webm
look at her

#
Just cause we gave it a name check doesn’t mean England doesn’t own it. If they was to vote for independence it wouldn’t be as simple as revoking an act of Union like it would be for Scotland and NI

How quintessentially English

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How long until the home invasions?

it doesnt survive on surfaces long anyway

wish we could blame germany for this

how come it's legal to shag 16 year olds but if you have nudes of them it's cp
the law needs to make its mind up one way or the other because we can't go on living like this

famine

certainly a paki shop

where do these spastic get off? Europes full of shitters shitting like always

coronation street

how long until the virus starts to die out in europe?

We knew this was going to happen and the virus doesn’t discriminate in its severity, it’s just more likely to kill older people. People who thought they were gonna be perfectly fine because they are young have been COPEing this whole time

well the Laws in Wales Acts have already been revoked so Wales' place in the United Kingdom is very unclear
Its technically not a part of the Union

Boosts the economy in this trying time, nothing but a good thing.

i used to work night shifts in a tesco distribution centre and i already knew this

18 is the universal age for nude photography because pictures are easily shared online and internationally so every country needs to have a set agreement
shagging is always irl and physical so there can be more nuance and country-by-country law differences

listening to boris johnsons address from today (really like boris johnson hes my favourite primeminister in my 26 years of life by literally immeasurable margins)
and he says

>we need to go further than just isolating if you show symptoms
>work from home where you possibly can
>stop non-essential contact with others

i am doing a course which E X P L I C I T L Y states it can be delievered online
get tae fuck you cunt!
its like these fuckign evil yes i say this word and i mean it, EVIL, course staff are going out of their way to kill people and their families with this punk ass disease
let me GO HOME
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inb4 mandatory vaccination

>the socialist way

Up to 9 days

Best bit of all this is Britain is going to get herd immunity whether we lose a bunch of people or not and then when all the cuck nations come out of their quarantines they're gonna catch it from us and either go back into their cuck bunkers or fucking die lmaoooo!

how the fuck should i know? fuck off

10 minutes

I'm
*cough*
glad
*wheeze*
I
*chokes*
voted
*splutters*
Tory
*dies*

What are we singing from the balcony lads?

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twitter.com/idriselba/status/1239617034901524481

middle aged white women on suicide watch

having actual consensual sex is broadly seen as a positive thing, but porn can be used against people and is broadly seen as a negative thing

Why is hand sanitizer become so expensive? Just make your own with alcohol and aloe vera gel

would fuck her to death

hope the black bastard carks it

what do you lads call COVID-19?
i call it 'Wu-Flu', me

Think about it lads, for the rest of time if any foreigner sees us they'll shrink in fear and run off for fear of being infected.

The island of England will be sealed off from the rest of the world after this. The Anglo will finally be confined and English perfidy ended.

hold on, let me check

literally how would Corbyn's response be any better you daft twat

me on the right

lol

Idris Elba aka Stringer Bell aka next James Bond has COVID-19
twitter.com/idriselba/status/1239617034901524481
nice message ngl

Every white woman on earth between the ages of 30-50 fantasizes about Idris Elba

Mental how that is the case really

kungflu

kung flu or the chinese sniffles

Coronavirus

What are you eating tonight?

Don't know what to order, probably avoid Indian, Kebaby and Chinese for poor hygine. Maybe a chippy?

oh for fuck sake

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just noticed someone missold something to me on ebay just under a month ago. (was second hand burner phone but they got the model number slightly wrong in the description)

should i return it? or just try to sell it on??

Britains gonna take the losses and rule the world while the rest of them hide out quivering in fear

based slag

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youtube.com/watch?v=ZhalhnGN_cI

Eternal Anglo

Jesus imagine the little virgin freak that illustrated this shite

Mutts law

whats slag valhalla? she's going there

Two bottles of Tesco's own brand value voddie please, mate. Yep it's for sterilisation purposes.

BEADY EYES

how many people died from tuberculosis last year?

AND DID THOSE FEET

IN ANCIENT TIMES

WALK UPON ENGLAND MOUNTAINS GREEN

Nuts that most black guys haven't realised that they can increase their sexual appeal tenfold if they started acting suave, civilised, middle-class and yes "white" like Idris Elba does. Most blacks seem to think that the whole ultra-macho thuggish ghetto personality is sexy but it turns off so many women who would have otherwise been interested, and they manage to only get shit-tier women

Absolutely peng ting

youtube.com/watch?v=2V6mUFUwBGc
any drunk emo man in

Used to do online shopping in the UK purely because supermarkets operate it at a loss

The English will be responsible for the deaths of millions.

>The island of England

Don't act as if it wouldn't work

Johnson from Peep Show type blacks sling mad dick

horrid boy

great brapton

based vindictive lad

Loads of industry people saying govt. has fucked them by advising not to attend pubs/restaurants/theatre/venues but not mandating closure... they will not get any insurance protection if closure is not ordered by the state

grim

Will America be better off cause of how much distance there is between people here to begin with?

Europeans and Asians live literally stacked on top of one another
Americans live in big houses with lots of space between each house

have you actually met a single person with the 'na yet lads?
i havent
not a single one
not a single lad with the 'na
suspicious to say the very least
i mean the economic possibilities alone

corbyn would have been given the same advice

Goys are so stupid

That's always been our job through history Jock. What you think we were going to stop now the Empire is gone, fucking bog trotter.

Overheard while in line at Walgreens just now:
“Is there something going on?”
Cashier: “What?”
“There are no paper towels or TP. Must be a union thing. SOMETHING is going on”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_stock_market_crash
always get a little excited when theres a wikipedia article about a current event

reckon i might have it.
had a weird sickness over the weekend an that hurt my lungs.

They do, but they're so rare. Most blacks haven't caught on yet that it's a winning move

who /drinkingwine/ here

i'm already well versed in social distancing

shouldn't make much difference in that aerosol spread is only a metre or two... its not gonna spread between two terraced houses up north unless they cough over the fence whilst you happen to be on the other side.

twitter.com/isgoodrum/status/1239351845706817536

White men would literally not stand a single chance of ever getting with a white woman again if black men did this en masse

me ahah

toilfu recoiled away when i tried to hug her today. said sorry and that she's social distancing.

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Wagies be like OH NOOOO 2 WEEKS INSIDE
WHAT WILL I DO? I'M GOINGGGGGGGG MADDDDD

and what are these economic possibilities?

3 years of progress
wiped out in an instant

me? drinking beer

gonna go stock up at Majestic soon

*later seen giving the office-chad a big hug*

mutts law

So I'm all out of soap as of 5 minutes ago.

Alternatives? I have washing up liquid.

don't understand a word this crazy mexican is saying

I wish. Nobody i know even has a cold to give me

same with the prem
they were waiting for the government to ban it but they didnt and still havnt becus of the lawsuits insurance claims

Italy is inflating its numbers for sympathy

The biggest financial crash since 9/11

can't wank with washing up liquid lad

Go to the store and buy some

It's not the lack of work. It's the fact I can't go to the pub or gym. Bored out of my mind.

Our strategy is actually perfect. Light nudge last week - self isolate for 7 days, wash your hands etc. Bigger nudge today. Now people are paranoid enough to start social distancing without being forced to, so we flatten the curve while the NHS is still coping, without a total lockdown.

Then we can just extend the Easter break by a week or two if we need to, with a proper lockdown, just as the NHS starts to struggle.

where is he???!

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pubs are so boring, only known boring people to go to them

imagine if it really was a bioweapon

>muh nudges
thaler is a hack

Well lads that’s me fucked, housemates bf has tested positive for chinky virus.
She’s self isolating in her room and can hear her coughing every minute so she almost certainly has it as well.
I feel fine at the moment but should I be going into toil? My parents said to come home if I catch it but I don’t want to infect them

when will this stupid fucking virus be over FUCK

washing up liquid works too

just do bodyweight excercises de laaaaad

mental how the people who are panic buying are the ones who deserve to die the most

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ah a fellow winer! and diner perchance? (ho ho a little joke if youll allow me)
i am partaking of casillero del diablo shiraz, its a devil of a wine! (a small pun there, if you are versed in foreign languages!)

You realise that Chris Whitty and Patrick Vallance are civil servants right, they're not political appointees.

How ye doin' lads.

It's all gone Cletus, there's no soap or bog roll left

Now it finally comes out as to why Britain is acting the way it is

To protect the interests of the 1% at the expense of the 99%

Revolution now desu

this
t. haven't panic bought a single item

*french flatmate tells me he's planning hsi escape to france and asks me if i want his food* cute

where was the stop bumrushing the supermarkets nudge?

>le nudge theory
yeah your social soyience isn't replicable or reliable redditor

It's literally just a flu.

no you shouldn't be going into toil

I bet you play vidya and watch anime as pastimes

bet she has a sweaty vagina

Have a massive speed arse wank lad you'll be sound kid x

self isolating in kent and shitposting on /brit/

The media wants you to panic.To hoard and CONSOOM while you can. To stay indoors. Reject this bugman mentality and go outdoors to embrace the sun and wind like warriors of old! Ancient men raided cities while plagues raged. You stay indoors and post "just a flu bro" on Yas Forums. You are GAY!

hope they infect each other in the scrums at the bog roll isle

Corona beer was almost sold out, got one of the last packs

Tell work that you've been in close contact with someone who had their neghole pozzed and you won't come in but will work from home

haha no its a cat
youtube.com/watch?v=Yv5IJYkU5UQ

>Nudge

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hate this anorexic retard

a toast! a toast to a host who can boast the most roast! ahah

the happy medium is going back to the parents yard and working in the garden

it was fully stocked in morrisson's yesterday, no fucker was going near it

On LBC

>self isolate
Mental how this term has come from nowhere. Literally nobody said it before.

Just a bit worried toilberg will think I’ve made this all up for some time off, I’m in one of the counties that has hardly any cases.

RIP Genesis P-Orridge
youtube.com/watch?v=Y8klW9trVTQ

Mum works as a classroom assistant and loads of the brats pretended to feel sick today for 2 weeks off. Hopefully their parents beat the shit out of them

have to laugh, this no clubs / social gatherings rule doesn't affect me at all

literally spend every weekend alone browsing the internet and wallowing in self pity, no change for me

>There are people ITT who have never known what it's like to go the weekly pints with the lads

SAD

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yeah well i was a bit thirsty lad

if thats not a proxy aren't you worried you're in a 3rd world shithole while a plague rages?

Possibly not for years

The Black Death didn’t finally leave Europe for 400 years

Actually last friday I went to a DnB thing on mandy with my gf, I just think pubs are boring

Like all you do is sit there with a load of old people

Find it hilarious how people think herd immunity isn't the best option. Do they really think we can just bring society to a halt for 12 months until someone potentially creates a vaccine?

most of the panic buyers are boomers
once again only thinking about themselves and leaving nothing for everyone else

Word.

alright lads

supernoodles or rice for tea tonight?

duality of brit

Italy's death toll will keep rising for another few weeks. I predict 1000 deaths per day at the peak.
Britain will be the same by May.

Need to pop in to put some stuff on a memory stick if I’m going to do that, put fuck all on Dropbox like an idiot and I can’t access the database from home

What countries can we travel to with our 2 weeks off? Countries that aren't quarantining arrivals.

Go in lad. It’s what brits do

>should I be going into toil

the actual government advice as of tonight, today, is that if anyone in your household has a cough you should be staying in for 14 days

you should definitely not be going to work, even tomorrow

The NEETs will inherit the earth whilst wagie contracts a deadly virus just to be replaced in a week.

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Alri BAP

youtube.com/watch?v=ele2DMU49Jk

saw two people out today wearing plastic gloves
and dozens of people with the chink masks

gonna panic buy some weed tomorrow

dealers better not be self isolating

pizza and half a garlic baguette in the oven

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millenials are too jaded to panic buy.

get it done then

oh no they got time off school?!?! noooooooo!!

It's not a plague if it's entirely avoidable is it?

Toil finally sent an email about the situation. It basically said don't overreact, carry on as normal and wash your hands. No mention of home working or closing the office.

Herd immunity: everyone gets it, then everyone recovers apart from the weak who perish
Lockdown: everyone avoids it for a while and then when the lockdown ends and they start going out again they get it then- they just postpone the inevitable

UK is being smarter. Better to get coronavirus in Spring and Summer than get it in December.

whenever i take speed, i often sit at the computer watching porn and have 12 hour arse wanks. it would be rude npt too

Unfortunately I am imbibing Doritos so cannot relate. Good day.

>I’ve had close contact with someone who has Coronavirus, should I go to work?

What a fucking spastic, of course you fucking shouldn’t. Low IQ will doom us all

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Jones
is this a cope by younger boomers who don't want to admit they're boomers?

it will be hard for italy to recover from this
everyone who has travelled knows outside of the uk europe is 2nd world but this is really embarrassing

Kek, RIP

had to cancel my haircut on the morrow. bossman is hard to get appointments with too ffs

fucking coronavirus gone too far.

cuh-ringe

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*tips fedora*

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choon

youtube.com/watch?v=0-YlrjvEqoM

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They've closed our toilmines and ordered everyone to work from home this week. I already had this week booked off so I'm a bit annoyed.

I’m gonna go in tomorrow and stick all my work on a memory stick, I’ll call in explaining the situation on Wednesday. I feel alright and she’s not left her room aside from the upstairs toilet so I’ll begin using the downstairs one

Unfortunately Britain is a capitalist dictatorship where workers cannot live on sick pay

toiled toilmeister in no uncertain terms that i shan't be coming in this week.

what kind of bent barbers requires you to book in advance

just the right thing to do innit

not an arse-wank man myself (been through that phase). Used to spend 16+ hours wanking to erotic hypnosis mp3s on speed though - good times.

most definitely destroyed my brain though

He's very handsome

Went out today to buy some veg, small kid fucking coughed in front of me without covering his mouth, some old gent sneezed but used his hand to cover up, and then got stuck behind some fat slag on a pavement while she coughed without covering her mouth.

Never noticed how the public are so dirty until now

rainy london is one of the comfiest movie settings ever, what are some good movies that display it?

literally me

Literally me

We won't because meds like slobbering all over total strangers they've just met, and we don't even hug our own family.

So what does this mean for me? I work retail and I’m not willing to risk mine and my family’s health for 9.20 an hour lmao

literally just physically triple-dabbed on my course
expecting theyll do a corona reevaluation either tomorrow or wednesday now

I'm going to those coronavirus trials. Hopefully I can be used to find a cure and my worthless, neet self can give something back.

Easy for millionaire chinaman to say
All his bills are covered no matter what happens he’s not at risk of eviction or starving

Literally me

erotic hypno is better on lsd

28 days later

>tfw lad I work with has a cough

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Brit is giving me anxiety attacks, may be time to step away from you lads for a while

It's an airborne disease, highly infectious, you are most likely infected.

It's got a R0 of 2-3 days before you present symptoms, and even without symptoms you are still highly infectious

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101 dalmations.

that one film that has the scene in it in london and it's rainy

>tfw have a cough after going clubbing at the weekend
>still going to lectures

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Had my winter growth shaved off earlier today, who knows how long it will be before I can get it cut again.

Aren't you meant to be quarantined, Giovanni?

This will be worse than 2008, I think. Literally everything is closing down.

Very much doubt I can work from home due to data protection

if toil merely provided me with a gasmask that would be fine

sat next to a punk ass bihhhhhh coughing non stop all day
got corona in the morning but its cured now
really annoyed at that because its going to make skiiving off notably more difficult now im immune

Please do.

What are the early symptoms of corona

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you recognize what's on his laptop

>rainy london

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>tfw had a cough but it went away

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heard this song on a tiktok video