/brit/

why?

>oh no i might get a cough and a fever better shut down countries

Is there any bigger cope than the thick lad at school who became rich?

Who is mark

currently doing this *points to firefox icon* but might do some of that later *points to cs:go icon*

hello newcunt

Christ, just leave him alone. Aren't you bored of this?
Em was just doing a normal convo about military history, yes admittedly that probably belongs on /his/ but he wasn't doing it in an abrasive matter so you could easily just ignore him
What do you get out of antagonising him and baiting him into yet another "what are you achieving in life?" argument? Going from random smalltalk to a personal bickering goes nowhere, you're just deliberately trying to set him off because you know he'll take the bait like he always does. Do you want the same shit to happen again? Are you that bored that you want to seek out an argument to entertain you? Do you have to try to piss him off every time you realise he's in the thread? This just feels like those sad cunts in school who would try to provoke the kid with mental problems, it's just poor taste

>online for several hours since then but not seen
Not looking good, boys

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big fat british birds watching reality tv shows while doing their horoscopes and nattering to one another
corrrrrrrrrrrr

he's got 30 now

>fucking hate the tories
also
>please tories solve all my problems for me
leftoids need gassing

the maple ridge dosser

fir'y

was over from her first reply

so i live in london and get public transport a lot and i've got the symptoms so i can safely assume i've got it so i have already confined myself to the self isolation since yesterday but i'm not sure if i should keep the windows open to air out the corona or not?

simple answers only my head hurts

howling

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>that wall of text

tip: you should type less than the girl you're writing to

>For most people, the new coronavirus causes only mild or moderate symptoms, such as fever and cough.
>The vast majority of people recover. According to the World Health Organization, people with mild illness recover in about two weeks, while those with more severe illness may take three weeks to six weeks to recover.

why is this such a big deal again?

Cause he's a butthurt faggot, thats why.
>you know he'll take the bait
He'll have a meltdown and spam me with "WHY AREN'T YOU REPLYING?" "WHY AREN'T YOU REPLYING?"
If I don't.
>This just feels like those sad cunts in school who would try to provoke the kid with mental problems
Cringe. You have the social awareness of a slug. He's the spastic to any observer.

It is never a good idea to be ambiguous. Just invite her to something specific.
Anyway, she obviously is not interested. She already told you no.

stop using her first name in messages it comes off as creepy, of course you're talking to her you don't need to clarify it

imagine typing all that shite imagining someone would read it

What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!

get a room

Haha you and Jake need to start a new groupchat with hookers and blackjack

it could purge all the grandparents off

good advice that lad, the trick is to be witty and steer the conversation in a way that keeps her interested while letting her do all the leg work

it isn't even a guaranteed thing with older people
fucking soft as shit world

emmett your dinners ready
>88 WHITE POWER coming now mum

A lot still need to go to hospital

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>two weeks to recover from "just the flu"
>mild

I had the flu before and it was horrible. Cannot imaging having the Corona.

I'm another observer and you are always the spastic
Every time, the whole thread calls you a spastic and you are the one single person claiming otherwise, you're in no position to talk about social awareness

any tips lads, i've opened the windows but it's just cold now

You realize schizophrenia is a very serious and specific condition which I don't have, right? You fucking melon?
I don't have anything...I just like to vent on Yas Forums.

gotta let the air circulate

>letting her do all the legwork
agree with everything except for that. if a girl makes me put all the effort in I stop messaging them, imagine a lot of girls think the same way

Pffffft

Last week, the Queen confirmed she was cancelling two trips due to the coronavirus outbreak.

But her daughter, Princess Anne, is keeping calm and carrying on.

The Princess Royal, who turns 70 in August, will go to the Addington Equestrian Centre in Buckingham later in her role as vice patron of the British Horse Society.

The society says it is taking extra measures to keep the 300 guests safe, saying: "We're doing exactly what the government has advised.

"We have additional hand sanitisers and we're encouraging people to wash their hands."

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God I wish that was me

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It's never a good idea to focus on one girl at a time anyway. Always best to be talking to multiple simultaneous.

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What's this loony muttering to himself?

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For the intensity and how realistic it is. You should watch it in theatre. It's amazing that a movie with such a simple story could be this exciting.

difference is women love rambling on, especially if you're good at acting interested it makes them feel like the centre of attention. also the more you let a bird talk the more you find out about her and the easier they are to manipulate

its best if you talk to me

Playa playa

release the foul humors dont think it will make a meaningful difference in your recover m8

I live alone and have for several years.
Unlike yourself, clearly. I bet you're a wall away from mum as we speak.
"the whole thread" being the same butthurt characters that are more or less always here, yeah.

Holy fuck, kid. Take a break with the obsessive e-drama. I'm laughing at how fucking pathetic you are.

yeah, but I can never be fucked, talking to one bint is enough for me, hate speaking to people over text

My gf thinks I have schizophrenia. Which is funny, because I don't have a gf.

Wonder how many Tory cabinet members finish a meeting then do a wank over Priti Patel when they get home. If I was in regular contact with her every week I'd be constantly horny

hate message conversations me prefer to talk face to face

more delusion

vile frenchoid

Just need a fit lad to fuck me and cum in my arse x

Did you really go to Japan or are you just using another VPN?

level up quick too

Yeah I get you, I try and get a girl to talk about herself as much as possible (they love doing that) but you should never make them feel like they are the only one interested in chatting

>I'm glad I spent my life arguing with total strangers on an anonymous forum about "brit" culture

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>hate speaking to people over text
this so much
trying to be funny or subtle without anything other than text is fucking hard
but apparently girls love texting

im signaling but no ones receiving

>get BTFO (as always)
>all you can come up with this meek little squeak of a response
shut up already you pathetic excuse of a man

this wouldn’t happen to be racism outside of Yas Forums now would it?

*wish that were me
Hypothetical. Subjunctive mood

Japanese flag = English teacher 99% of the time

The Chinese will be the first to colonise Mars.

Single at the moment but every gf I’ve had I’ve had to be in constant contact with throughout the day. Don’t see what’s wrong with just messaging in the evening?
The last gf would reply instantly as well, just don’t have the time to be constantly entertaining them

>but apparently girls love texting
Because women have a constant low level need for social stimulation and validation without any commitment. Men crave meaningful interaction and conversation, preferably shared activity, but only occasionally and then they need rest.

get out of here corona baguette boy

There are two Jap flag posters here.
One is an English teacher working and living in Tokyo, the other is a proxyfag LARPer who pretends to use broken English.

just got to keep the carrot dangled and you're good to go, i generally avoid the top of my 'shaggable birds' range cos they're too much effort especially since you just know they have about 10 other lads messaging them at any one time. my shaggery is purely based on efficiency time invested/result

think this corona nonsense just made me realise how much i dont like my life generally.

im hoping they close the office and i can just move back to my hometown and just stay there and work in the garden through spring and summer and then finally fuck off out of the UK

can't be doing with the dull ache of petty toil stress as the world is ending

I am just super committed to the meme flag gimmick so I moved here.

>proxyfag LARPer who pretends to use broken English.
Yikes.

im receiving lad

wonder what the great unpaid one will think of this

what's stressing you atm lads?

trying to kickstart this whole herd immunity thing in australia, anyone lend me a copy of the virus?

For serious now lads how can i make some money? So far I have:

>Sell shit on ebay
>paid online surveys
>other online work like mechanicalturk
>looking for and selling scrap metal
>match betting
>stock markets

can anyone think of any other easy ones?

ahahaha literally me
cannot be fucked with it, used to just deliberately not reply just to get some peace and then say i was busy or something lol
tempted to say have sex to you but i have noticed this

Aye, it’s nice to match with or get a fit birds number for the confidence boost but if I’m just after a shag then I never see the point in messaging them over the ones you know would be more keen

What job do you do. Mustnt be very taxing cause youre always on here

yeh selling gear

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

this

just need a rich gf

oh and by the way i do have a job

devilish guy cumming tru

>Paid shill posting, reddit and Yas Forums amount others
>Sell your shitty pictures at shutterstock
>Write spam and get paid per word, ez
>Make shitty videos by order, TONS of sites for that
>Make asset flip games. So easy, good money.
>Camwhore. Guys or girls, it's easy money.
>Airdrops. Make 100 accounts. hold for like 2-3 months then dump. I've made ~3000 this year from airdrops.
>drop shipping. basically a marked up reseller.
>affiliate links. click my link and I get money. Spam that shit. Write a bot to spam it.
>crypto scams. Give me 1 eth, I'll give you 2. So many retards out there.
>sell game "cheat" guides. write a garbage guide for a popular game and sell it.
>sympathy donations. look on reddit, facebook, all over. make face accounts and "get cancer". you can't pay for those bills, get donations.

job?

Did you cunts not read that he wrote "for serious"? Fucking disgusting with your levity you lot are

state of the spanish IQ

genuinely think the UK's approach to the ronavirus will be the best approach

could unironically survive on the dole if i had a property to live in

as a wagey i only spend about 300 quid a month (after rent) and alot of that is nonsense associated with toil like occasionally getting the bus in or buying snacks for toil or work clothes.

Quiet dingo

>come into the thread on lunch
>bait schiz with one shitpost
>come back at 5.30pm
>hes still going doopin mental
why is he like this lads? i wouldnt do it if he didnt make it so entertaining

>What fuckin Virus?

>The Coronavirus Christopher, the fuckin Coronavirus

>Hooo, no more coronas? The Fuck are you talkin about T?

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Dad pissed on the toilet seat. Went to wipe it off and the smell brought me a hair's breadth to puking and it was orange.

The fuck is wrong with him that causes stanky orange piss?

areeba

>I could live on much less money if I didn't have rent or a mortgage

Hot take user

PENG PENG PENG

lack of hydration

Dad pissed on the toilet seat. Went to lick it off and the smell brought me a hair's breadth to cooming and it was orange.

Nah, ours is the best. We're doing the same thing but without using retarded terms like "herd immunity" and "your loved ones are going to die" to freak people out.

That's just guilting people, y'know? Who cares about old people, anyway?