/brit/

powerful British wrists edition

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Other urls found in this thread:

reddit.com/r/london/comments/fis1hx/just_got_punched_in_the_face_because_i_killed/
youtube.com/watch?v=MPn6E4za7Os
youtube.com/watch?v=aRVbOygca0Q
hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2020/03/peter-hitchens-yes-coronavirus-poses-a-risk-but-our-response-to-it-is-not-intelligent-or-useful-brit.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Any cuties? AYAYA

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Anime

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POST WRIST CIRCUMFERENCE

NEED a tall gf who can pin me in a wrestling match

wiggling a niggler

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janny will nOT be happy

Why do you clip your nails short?

how did you take that picture

think i might have developed a wheat intolerance
i get all bokey when i have ale but i'm fine drinking lagery stuff

neighbour blasting rnb music.
want to read but i cant

what did the aussie cross the road?
because he was a kangaroo ahaha
hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop

it's a pain in the arse being fucked

St Patrick's Day falls on a Tuesday this year, but celebrations kicked off in cities across the US this weekend despite official advice to practice social distancing.

In Chicago, Illinois, the city's annual parades and river-dyeing event were cancelled, but many restaurants and bars remained open.

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker cautioned young partygoers to follow distancing guidelines. "You can have the unintended tragic effect of spreading Covid-19 to others who are more vulnerable. Please do the right thing for your community,."

Other cities, including New Orleans, Louisiana, where police broke up crowds outside bars, Boston, Massachusetts, and New York City have faced similar issues this St Patrick's Day.

Die

got the fucking virus

Right that's the final straw

FUCK SALT

weetabix fucks me up.
used to eat shitloads of it as a kid but now my stomach feels like it will burst if i eat it.

Bokey?

oh no don't come near me

dropped a bollock

FUCK SALT

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like i want to vom

Anaphylaxis, in a nutshell, is a very serious condition.

norton going ape shit at this post

ok no flavor

The amount of semi-shaggable 30 something year olds I get messaging me on online dating apps is huge. But is it really worth shagging a 33 year old

$300 on a pair of earphones and none of the six included eartips can stay in my ears without constant adjustment. Unbelievable.

My brother and I were minding our own business at Westfield Stratford when this guy started yelling racial profanities at us asking us to “go back to my country”. He was also yelling that my “kind” killed his mother. At first my brother and I ignored him and continued walking but eventually he got uncomfortably close to us. My brother tried to tell him that we are not Chinese and we’ve never even been to China.

At this point he started getting really angry. He threw his cigarette that he was smoking at my brother and kicked me while yelling more profanities at us. At this point I was furious and told him to f*ck off and stop bothering us. That’s when he punched me in the face. I tried to fight back but members of the public started to intervene. He quickly got away.

We have made a police report on the incident.

A few weeks ago there’s a similar story on the news that happened with a Singaporean student on Oxford Street. Honestly, I don’t really feel safe in this city anymore.

tl;dr: Got punched in the face because I look a certain way and apparently gave his mum a disease.

*leans in for a kiss*

Would usually have pooed about 3 times by now today but have limited myself to just the one to save poo paper

Went to Church today and prayed that all the older vulnerable people in my family and my gf's family would be safe and not die with this virus

FONT

what earphones?

is it really worth paying hundreds for them when you can get a decent bluetooth pair for like £20

I mean, he WAS asian.

>Honestly, I don’t really feel safe in this city anymore
love when people say this and just stay in said city for many more years

there's a very fit 30-something at my call centre

I think she goes to the gym though. Also she sells coke and reckon she has easily shagged 100+ men

33 is not particularly old imo

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President Bog Fart has been President for 4 years.

Name 1 (one) thing he has done

>Westfield Stratford
guarantee it was a nigger lmao

just use a towel and wash it

Hate sour kraut. Hate cabbage in general.

Can’t help but feel that the sort of people who watch saturday night takeaway also read the sun, go on holiday to benidorm and voted for brexit

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Made me laugh a million times with his god tier tweets

Stop fucking panicking. I'm so sick of all the messengers hyping this up as some big thing and causing mass hysteria. It's just a fucking fever. My neighbor had it last week and is back working the fields again. They've close the markets over this absolute rubbish. It's just a fucking fever. Fucking idiots

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just had a nap for 10 minutes but it felt like an hour

>Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta has announced that national borders will be closed to travellers from any country with reported coronavirus cases.

>Kenya confirmed its first case of coronavirus on Friday, and the president said two more have been discovered since.

AFRICA IS COMPROMISED!!

EXPECT CASES TO OCTUPLE OVERNIGHT!!

>finally worked up the courage to send that girl a friend request
>2 weeks later she hasn't accepted or denied
Guess she doesn't even look at it then...

want a pair of bang and olufsen beoplay e8s desu

mental how house is ALWAYS right

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Sauerkraut

dropped of out school in year 11 but i have a higher IQ than most oxbridge graduates

Wondering what this has to do with British culture

It’s going to ravage them. Be glad you live in a developed country lad.

this

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This is a British culture general, take your Trump Derangment Syndrome back to /r/eddit you literal crybaby freak

this

here's to 4 more years

i have a low iq but god-like spacial awareness

1. trolled the libs
2. owned the libs

Today I did a poo so big and hard that it really hurt to push it out and left my bumhole feeling a bit numb

tada

Never understood the notion of praying for God to directly interfere in the world, because it doesn't seem like His decisions about who to kill/spare would be affected at all by those sorts of prayers - particularly when so many cruel and tragic deaths have happened already in the past.

Personally I pray to God that I will have the strength and courage to help those around me suffering from coronavirus. However I don't really believe in God, so I'm not sure whether that will have much of an impact either

not sure how to clean the bathroom since the virus can be carried in poo and piss

based Ant McPartlin

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if I remember rightly, he's wrong ONCE in the entire series

>noo don't give the heckin fever to the elderlyrinos!!

turned down an unconditional from oxford because there wasnt really anything they could teach me

always wondered why he was driving a shitey mini cooper countryman

Never met my hand Doppelgänger before

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>any country with reported coronavirus cases
isn't that every country though, hence it being officially referred to as a PANdemic?

>tfw i can do picrel
what the fuck do i do lads

Chances are she doesn't want to accept, but also wants to retain the ability to say "oh I just never really look at that" if she sees you again. If she actively rejects the request, she wouldn't have that option

He can't hjave crashed again surely

reddit.com/r/london/comments/fis1hx/just_got_punched_in_the_face_because_i_killed/

loool they all think it was some daily mail-reading brexiteer who was encouraged by boris' letterboxes comment when it was very obviously a nigger

leftymongers are deranged freaks

By definition, I want to say yes. Many of the guidelines would probably put the majority of native Brits anywhere between B1-C1 level, but the guidelines are intended for non-native speakers rather than as a verbal intelligence metric for natives. I'm probably not even C2 in the languages I work with in terms of my own production. When you do translation or interpreting work you're doing it for a specific purpose, which involves vocabulary and expressions that people unfamiliar with the subject matter on both sides of the language barrier wouldn't understand. In that sense, in many ways I can understand the foreign languages I speak better than many natives because I have to act as a mouthpiece for a wide range of different people or organisations, but equally any uneducated hoodlum from that country will be more fluent and have a better grasp of everyday vocabulary than me.

When you actually work with languages it stops being a pissing contest and becomes a question of communication skills.

those gay fingers have definitely been up a male arsehole furiously working the prostate

is one of the symptoms of coronavirus an incessent desire to travel?

Got a degree from the University of Life and my IQ is at least 100 points higher than any namby-pamby Oxbridge poof. At least I have COMMON SENSE

I'm new to this whole praying thing tbqh haven't really done it since I was a little kid
Just doing it now because I'm very worried about my loved ones especially my gf's family since both her dad and her grandad have cancer diagnoses at the moment
I do believe in God but I don't know how benevolent He is

yeah was always the smartest person in secondary school and uni. didn't get the best marks because i just didn't apply myself but i was definitely the smartest. i just know i think about things and observe things in a certain way which no one else does. i know for a fact that im wickedly unique in that way. do i try? no why would i it doesn't interest me. if i get interested in something i'll read the wikipedia article and then i understand it. simple as. what is the black scholes option model?
>google it
>go to the wiki page
>read all of it
then thats it. now i know black scholes option model. that was obviously just an example but obviously i can do the same thing with topics that are less rudimentary like maths (calculus, etc)

Peter Hitchens is right

swear at least 80% of the shit I see posted on reddit is just made up for internet points
the am I the asshole stories in particular are just so fake

England rugby union player Joe Marler has been banned for grabbing the genitals of another player, Welsh captain Alun Wyn Jones.

The incident, and the subsequent 10-week ban handed out as punishment, has been the subject of lots of discussion - with some suggesting it's normal in rugby and others saying it's not.

Harry Jackson, a 26-year-old rugby player, says it was a surprise to see what Joe Marler did - but not for the reasons you might think.

why the fuck do people in this cramped shithole country make it worse by blasting music?

every fucking wall is shared in this country, why can you not fucking just use headphones, why do i need to hear your massive soundsystem playing for the benefit of the ONE person living next door?

don't see what proddies have against intercessionary saints. seems quite logical to ask one of the less busy fellows to put a quick word in with the bossman

or if you think he might be pissed off at the request just ask mummy to pass it on when it's a good time

i'd take a picture of my hand wrapped around my thin wrist but i don't know how to hold my phone

for me it's driving down the lonely motorway at night whilst I blast some tunes

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A man's home is his castle

wahey

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got my bluetooth speaker blasting
seethe on nerd

60 year old bloke at my work had his prostate examined by a big black Nigerian doctor the other day and he said he let out a scream when the finger went in. Absolutely kekked my arse off

*flies into the thrad*
alri benders wuu2

toilberg says to work from home tomorrow
on the one hand based
on the other i think we're about to fold due to lack of cash so a bit scary

god i wish that were me

>might die from coronavirus
>haven't made peace with Plump yet

Dear Plump,
I didn't thought i would start being afraid of the virus so much that i'd want to see you again but i guess you always run back to people that are close to you in this kind of situation.

I just wanted to let you know that i'm truly sorry for ignoring you for weeks, acting like a coward and lying to you.

Its true : i have been a bad friend, i'm a trash human living one but you gave me hope of a brighter future, you made me feel things i never felt before i started being happy for the first time of my life but my jealous took over me and made me see things in the wrong way.

I know you don't acknowledge me as your friend, only as a throwaway toy that you got bored of, but i did, and this is why i always felt so close to you.

Excuse me for my poor wording, i'm not very fluent in english or any other languages for that matter, i tried to get better so i could speak with you but in the end it didn't went off well.

Even if i may die in the next few months, i would like you to know that my feelings you were truth, and i always viewed you as my best friend, no matter the arguments we had, or my tantrums, you were always by my side and i wish you to be happy and stay alive during this pandemy.

I'm truly ashamed of writing this letter to you because i don't have the guts to speak to you again on Discord, and ashamed of being such a terrible human being that couldn't care less about his friend feelings. I can't handle having friends and this is why i'm alone, never had friends or will do.
Sincerely,

Thana
(PS : please don't ignore this, it took me 30 min to write and correct on word)

I just post there in case you still check this general on the week-end, i will check the archive later.

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lad, get some forearm exercises in your routine asap. no man ought to be able to do this.

In times like these we should be building bridges not closing our borders ffs. this is how fascism takes root

vinnie jones did it to gazza iirc

i work in a sector where most people are only earning 18-25k and i swear every one of them has a package holiday in tenerife every 3 weeks

might as well let a pangolin shag your arse while a chinaman coughs directly in your mouth

Thinking about selling t-shirts with the caption:

1. Troll the libs
2. Own the libs

Would pair it with a smug picture of Trump, and then market it aggressively to Republican voters in his strongest states. Americans are well known for having too much money and being quite stupid, so I think I could be onto a winner here

""""""""""""""""""""""working"""""""""""""""""""""" from home to at least the next week too

Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

>tfw live in countryside
>walls not shared with anyone other than my family
feels good man

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youtube.com/watch?v=MPn6E4za7Os

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state of that redditspacing

sneak into his house and kill him m8

retail?

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yamagucci la? x

Going to stop being edgy and cynical ngl
This whole pandemic has really put things into perspective for me. No point in the frivolities of life, just try to focus on the things that matter and try to be a nice person

yeah but you have to drive 40 minutes to get a packet of crisps

no

anyone seen monica lads? god she's so frickin cute and based

*shakes the walls of our shitty student accommodation*
youtube.com/watch?v=aRVbOygca0Q

>Bluetooth
My stereo receiver is vintage chrome and woodgrain. No Bluetooth here.

Thank you for two quality posts.
Which languages do you know? How do you plan to teach them to your children?

hospitality?

Holly Eason and her fiance Masakazu Yamamoto have been planning their April wedding in their hometown of Tokyo for ages but now, thanks to coronavirus, they've had to cancel everything.

Ms Eason said: "I couldn't forgive myself if our celebration became the cause of a serious health condition. I'm also worried that my dad and my brother wouldn't be allowed to enter Japan. We just don't know what the situation will be at the time and I wouldn't want to go ahead without them being here."

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you ever hear your sister getting shagged?

150k have got a case of the sniffles. I hope they have enough lemon and honey to get them through this.

I couldnt be assed yeah

...

dont know what that means but alri

*brutally murders your whole family in front of you*
wahey

..sucking a WHAT?!

mine's green plastic and grey plastic, wood on things other than beds and that is grimalim

monica? isn't that the pseudonym of creepy sex offender amer hussain?

Some fucker on my incredibly cramped street where people's bedrooms are basically right next to the road decided to rice out his REALLY shitty car and exclusively starts it up and idles it for 20 minutes at 3am in the morning. Genuinely hope he drives it off a bridge.

that is correct, yes

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hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2020/03/peter-hitchens-yes-coronavirus-poses-a-risk-but-our-response-to-it-is-not-intelligent-or-useful-brit.html

erm no? Monica is an innocent british woman who posts ITT, you must be confused

AutoModerator
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7 hours ago
"Part & Parcel" clarifier:

In September 2016, when asked to comment shortly after a bombing in New York, Sadiq Khan said:

I'm not going to speculate as to who was responsible. I'm not going to speculate as to how the New York Police Department should react. What I do know is that part and parcel of living in a great global city is you’ve got to be prepared for these things, you’ve got to be vigilant, you’ve got to support the police doing an incredibly hard job, you've got to support the security services. And I think speculating when you don't know the facts is unwise.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

>they literally have a bot to say this when someone says part and parcel
screaming

hello amwf poster

It's the name of the poor girl he snooped on and posted her pictures on r9k. Ameer decided that if he couldn't have her, he would BECOME her and thus adopted her name and started dressing as a woman

autism

>flag
>my incredibly cramped street

doubt

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most ale doesnt have wheat

>while this is yet to be proven
then why fucking post anything you stupid rag

all part of the (((plan))).

One time I shagged a fit bird who shared a wall with her brother who was indoors and in his room and she was making so much noise during shagging, when I said what about your brother she said “oh don’t worry about it” hahahahaha poor fucker

I guess now we know why the media are making a big fuss about it

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t. No taste. Nowt better than blasting Led Zeppelin on equipment from the 70s.

it is actually happening lads

Yas Forums was right for once

saw that they were doing an ale festival at 'spoons for the best ales by female brewers
bizarre behaviour

hello, yes, I'd like the toast with butter please, yes that's all, yes 25 minutes will be fine, thank you

Our cities are very close to Britain except newer, less attached buildings and full of wankers from more regional areas moving here for uni (or, easier access to drugs in this wanker's case) with no idea of how to live quietly.

no you didn't, be quiet

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what's in like ipas and light ales but not in lager?

Diseases that cause high fever usually damage your testicles (getting measles as an adult when your balls have developed is also bad). That's the main reason they're outside your body since inside would be too hot.

No I actually did

I don't have testicles just don't like newspapers haha x

Okay, all the normies and posters pretending to be normies please get the fuck out. If you've shagged more than, say, three birds you really don't belong on this website.

media in all forms needs a hard reset
factual reporting and investigative journalism should be the focus

the age of agendas and marketing needs to end

someone jay this clown

When has Yas Forums ever been wrong?