/brit/

a toast to janny edition

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tasteful cute girls

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who's this semen demon

would be the first thing hes ever topped in his life aha x

big head

took the morning off toil. noseberg can suck my unshaved arsehole

I hope she quits smoking, it's bad for your lungs

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huh rochelle humes hosting this morning in place of ruth, pleasant surprise

big brained

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On this day in British History

>1884 – The Siege of Khartoum begins. It lasts until January 26, 1885.
>1900 – British forces occupy Bloemfontein, Orange Free State, during the Second Boer War.
>1927 – The lance ceased to be an official weapon in the British Army
>1972 – Britain and China resume full diplomatic relations after a 22 year break
>1996 – The Dunblane massacre leads to the death of sixteen primary school children and one teacher in Dunblane, Scotland

not a whole lot today lads

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not british culture

Applying for a job with a civil service. Don't really want it, but it pays £40k and the work would be interesting so I suppose I could bear it if they were silly enough to offer it to me

I'm sincerely too spooked to do basic errands cause of the virus but I don't want to walk around with a full on gas mask

thats an incredibly competitive job you know
better sort your fucking attitude out or youve got no chance you disgusting slob

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They're trying to keep it under wraps to avoid panic, but I work in TV and have it on good authority that Ruth was diagnosed with covid-19 last week and is currently on life support

meet me outside Peterborough cathedral in 1 hour, I will absolutely heem you, your jaw will be in the atmosphere sunshine mark my words

imagine pressing bumholes together with a girl and she farts up your bumhole but then you fart it straight back up her bumhole and it's like fart tennis

You have a worker and a gold bar. The worker will work for you for 15 days.
He must have x/15 of the gold bar after the xth day of work.
What is the minimum number of cuts of the gold bar you need to make to pay the worker?

Note: You can exchange with the worker. For example on day 1 you can give him 1/15th, and then on day 2 ask for that 1/15th back and give him a 2/15th lump instead.

I could be there in 20 minutes

a full grown man authored this post

poindexter dumbass nerd

quite like the sense of fun in this webm
never liked "serious" sex, always makes me cringe when people take it seriously in porn or whatever

who dat

for fuck's sake toilberg just set up a direct debit

how can such a tiny percentage of black people have such a massive overwhelming impact on crime and death

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5

5 pieces, 4 cuts

how have we still not found a source for that chinese girl webm

GIB

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my future gf

why would a general dedicated to the discussion of British culture be able/willing to?

1/15
2/15
4/15
8/15

3 cuts

cretin

eh

>herd immunity

lads i feel like corona was distributed to kill NEETs, think about it we have the worst immune systems (alongside the elderly) because we sit inside for days at a time denying our immune system a tolerance build. if a seasoned NEET catches corona it could be fatal regardless of age

dad and brother are having a laugh if they think I'm coming anywhere within a mile of them on sunday on their way back from a weekend spent in packed pubs and betting offices with my equally reckless gobshite cousins across the country

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we're the most powerful general on this website, we must have the manpower

because she's probably british its relevant

it's the opposite
NEETs will inherit the earth once all the toilers have died

because i'm british and i want to suckle upon her milkers

it's an anti-gamer virus it's designed for gamers to rise up

shut-in NEETs will be the least-affected if anything

Weird how the asian fake chebs are so perfect they don't look real. Every jav star has a pair now

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least infected yes, but also most effected once caught

attention whore faggot

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calm down my darling yankie doodle

talk to diego about as frequently as i talk to my irl friends now

you're gonna get it at some point, just like a flu for 95%+ of young people

no. most normies work sedentary indoor jobs now that are effectively no different to being a NEET sat at his filth-encrusted gamingstation

we already know those who entertain namefags don't have any friends irl, you don't have to tell us

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not many people are black in this country, it's statistically much more likely you are black than i am

señor janny is lurking

yeah I'm a virgin freak what of it

sister has a cough but is refusing to self-isolate and is going to a concert tonight
i got pissy and told her she was being irresponsible, and she told me to fuck off and called me autistic

this is so fucking typical of her
she never turns puts her phone into airplane mode on flights either the cow

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...

your sister's cooler than you

Can you help me out britbros?
I need BIG words to describe Ramsey's behavior on this webm.
All that comes to my ESL mind is "pretentious", "pompous", "theatrical"

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its a concert of french medieval music and occitan poetry so i serioulsy doubt it

in fact now i think about it im realising that the audience will be 60% geriatrics and im even more pissed off at her selfishness

dumb crossposter

based sister accelerating the spread

>its a concert of french medieval music and occitan poetry so i serioulsy doubt it
wtf your sister is really cool

>call chef in to sort out your failing business
>he immediately identifies the issue to be the utterly shit food
>"wow what a pompous, pretentious, theatrical bastard!"

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alri

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going to this french medieval music and occitan poetry concert tonight, not really my type of thing but this slag i want to shags going

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mugging
hyperbolizing

loooool it really is like that tho x

I am the Sexhaver-in-Chief of /brit/

Rally to me, shagger legions

UEFA just suspended the CL.

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ramsay is a hack fraud
he can't even cook scrambled eggs properly

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feels like self-isolating is sort of pointless now as I imagine most people are carrying the virus atp whether or not they even become ill from it as a result

any de lads on? i want to punch you in the fucking face

how does one follow from the other you cretin

what does he mean by this

why do people have to come up with dumb ass new terms for things?
>self-isolating
>self-quarantine
>social distancing
IT'S CALLED STAYING HOME, IT'S CALLED KEEPING YOUR DISTANCE
holy fuck this newspeak keeps getting worse and worse

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“De lads”, Spanish for “of lads”. Shan’t be speaking a wog language.

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yank there is a difference between staying at home and doing those things though
you can stay at home and mingle with the people you live with
or you can stay at home and isolate your contact with them

He's started doing these weird poses for thumbnails, I don't know why.

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Been taking valium all week and tonight I'm drinking
Will let you know if I die in my sleep tomorrow

stinging pain in the ribs last few days inability to sleep flu symptoms arising. think i have super corona

I really really hate burgers that are too big to take a normal bite of.

What's the point? It just becomes a jumbled mess.

mak

Oh no no no
We got too cocky, Ramsaybros

Retarded embarrassing post