/brit/

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have to eat the cat as there's no food left in any shops for miles

Mum just sent me this

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this is genuinely the kind of thing i have nightmares about. i hate sealife, especially crabs

Turns out that /qa/ thread actually worked.
Either that or he really did drop dead after we spammed out 18 /brit/s at once.

Just had to use my mum's collection of rare sea shells to wipe my arse

I honestly would never run bare foot on a beach, no matter how nice and sandy.

What happens when you come off the beach? Or to your posture when your foot sinks into random bits of sand?

Pls frens check these digits. Do not be afraid

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much better, thanks

>anime

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you're a stain on your family's bloodline

nt

It's 2 for me.

>no loo roll

just squat when you're shitting like we're supposed to and you won't need toilet roll

bogrollbergs really got a despotic stranglehold on western society

End it jannies. I dont deserve this life

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hate this going to the gym for an hour every day lark i'm doing. too tired to do anything after

...

ngl really hate my life

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this unironically. i haven't bought nor used toilet paper in years.

Drumpf’s gonna win like 45 states

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I feel like caveman diets had more fibre and less processed shit so their poos were more solid and so loo roll wasn’t necessary. But now we eat fatty junk we have sloppy shits and therefore need to wipe our arses

peng, lush, piff and fit

>tranny janny might be gone
Shall be testing this theory.

Chinks should not be allowed in the country and are truly the niggers of asia. Not fond of spics either but they're somewhat less annoying.

oispa

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for me it's that webm of the tranny who's doing some deepthroating and they briefly lose consciousness or something and they make a very manly "UGHHHH" sound afterwards instead of the usual femme voice that they had throughout the rest of the video

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never coming here again
bye

Biden is clearly senile

don't care

go wash off in the river then you numpty

LOOL send it

>Fuck your anime

I mean, if you insist...

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It gets better. Are you eating properly?

Once I'd been going consistently for like two months and eating more to compensate for the gym I actually felt more tired if I didn't.

Very bizarre but it works.

>Either that or he really did drop dead after we spammed out 18 /brit/s at once.
snorteling

Ah yes because if Trump's Presidency proves anything it's that a candidate saying stupid things disqualifies them from office.

something quite gay about a lad running around naked 2bh. like it will inevitably lead up to something of a profoundly homosexual nature

Don’t go every day?

*atomises this post and scans every single particle for British culture*
Hmmm

sneezed three (3) times today
can literally feel the microscopic coronavirus endospores recirculating through my bloodstream

see you tomorrow

he was deleting threads yesterday

might give this a go, sick of wipetoiling

Might have a 'pression wank

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British culture doesn’t exist and the emperor of the world affects everyone

what's got you down mate?

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Imagine the old willard flailing wildly in all directions as you run. Phwoar

what do you eat?

This is peak /brit/

fix it then

Jojo's bizarre adventure

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fuck off you cunt

I have jungle fever. Where do I find a chocolate QWEEN to colonize?

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... is anime and therefore cringe

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i.4cdn.org/gif/1583672127840.webm

someone's messed up with the internet fiber cables. mines have been sort of cut off ffs don't have internet since friday reeeee

the jungle

so the rumours about him and figo are true...

Penny for your thoughts, what's on your mind?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL FUCK SAKE

Looks like a healthy and natural individual there.

not while i'm eating

I absolutely hate Lewis Hamilton. Only because he is completely up his own arse and seems oblivious to how everyone interacting with him knows he has mild aspergers.

arranged for some nonce hunters to snare tim

French be like "I have no internet, ouiiiiiiiiii" haha

Inb4 the memes but I always have a Huel for breakfast (slow release energy, loads of vitamins and protein), maybe sometimes for lunch, or if not have a fairly standard lunch that involves veg/bit of meat and then at night always have something like spag bol, chicken and rice, steak and veg etc and then a Huel before bed.

Just hate all of it. No social life, >tfw no gf, still live at home and thats the most depressing part. Have to save, which means toiling for months just so I can escape but that just means toiling and nothing else because I cant figure out how to improve what I have. Argh I dont know, I just dont know.

Saw a picture of topless old-man Figo the other day, he looked in really great shape.

no homo

full video now

she wants a man who knows its “junglist massive” and NOT “jungle is massive”

Don't worry mate, chances are you'll get this new virus and end up having to be on meds for the rest of your life just to survive.

What does huel taste like?

cant be bothered.

>NOOOOOOO NOT MUH INTERNET AND MUH FIBRE CABLES!!!

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Made a balls of it last night lads

Seen adverts for Huel™ on reddit. Also I remember you posting one time that it doesn't contain any soy which is interesting.

Reckon I would buy some if I was one of those rich software developer types. Alas I am a call centre worker and can only afford microwave meals.

what happened lad

blondelashes19

everyone's all trannys this and femboys that I just wank to girls for god sake

How much do you plan to save before moving out?

What did you do la

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I'm the lad who occasionally posts things like:

"WIGGIDY WIG WICKY

JUNGLE IS MASSIVE"

She's cute. I would fuck her.

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Could have went back to a hotel with this bird but basically pied her off because i didnt want her to see my small willard

Should’ve just stuffed her dunno why I bitched out like that

Have you considered re-training? it's never too late to do what you're interested in

I, too, only east foods that are beige or brown or orange.

what's your size?

how small?

having a gay phase again are we emmett?

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youre a good lad

>looks at the news
>knows what SARS does to a person
yeah I'd say it was too late mate

the lunch scran:
chicken bites (southern fried)
ham and cheese cob
small peppers stuffed with cream cheese
arla protein yogurt
pint of water

3,000, I'm either gonna go australia for a year or do something similar. But either way leaving the UK

Been squatting on the toilet for 20+ years and you still need to wipe

Top tip from a shagger: girls genuinely do not care about small willards

3.5 inches

I watched too much porn and developed a trans fetish

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depending on the girl she'd just be nice about it and be like well you have tongue and your fingers teehee :v
shouldn't have bitched out desu

erect?

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If flaccid, that's actually average.
5 inches is erect average.

Should have just shot your shot lad

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It depends, it has gotten miles better apparently but honestly I really like it. It's fine with water but I'm trying to bulk so have mine with milk and it is just like drinking a nice milkshake.

Vanilla is grim and tastes like melted ice cream but chocolate and berry are nice.

You do realise that Huel per meal is cheaper than a microwave meal?

My backup plan in life is that if I lose my job and go on Job seekers I'll live off Huel most of the time.

It's like 1.10 a meal, even if you stock up on calories and add whole milk it's still like 1.50 for all essential nutrients, about 700 calories and it's delivered to your door and you don't need to do anything other than shake it and then wash the bottle.

Also done wonders for my mental health which I think is the result of actualyl having the vitamins I'm meant to have in every single meal

dunno what I would want to do is the problem. Maybe war photography. That would be based.

that boy needs therapy

dreamt i was having a wank

>5 inches is erect average.
how lol
I've seen a lot of dicks in my time and they're all 6 or bigger

What job do you do?

Please be warned that I thought the same when I was stuck at home in shit toil, got a good job, gf and all that am still not happy.

I do find the UK grim though.

lol u r 1 cheeky kunt m8

What's a good place to stay during the summer

Find it hard to believe a mere 5 is the average

Huel is based, good man. For me it's adding almond milk to it sometimes too.

I may consider it, is there a free trial or sample pack or something like that?

That'll take 6 months to save, tops.

For reference I'm on £18k/year, live at home, am forced to pay my mum several hundred quid a month rent (disgusting) and save £6804 a year.

I've got £30k saved. Like you I plan to kill myself however I am too scared to move out or do anything. Have contemplated getting a return flight to Japan then just wandering about then killing myself there (have to get a return flight so it doesn't look suspicious innit).

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Yeah, need to learn to live with it. Can’t abstain from sex forever

What are you addicted to?

a cottage

don't let it stop you, you can catch it but for the vast majority of people it's a slightly more aggressive flu

home

willy

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elliot_rodger.jpeg

6 feet under

depression and self hate desu. missed a lot of opportunities because i remember all the awful things i've done to other people and i feel like i don't deserve success

tfw not insecure about my height, knob size, face, or anything physical really, but extremely insecure about almost everything else

the internet and, to a lesser extent, drugs

This is very concerning.

How the FUCK do I peel an orange tho

Look it up. Most men think they're too small as well, or that they're not good enough, but women just want average.

>depression and self hate

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>the rest of the world doesn't know that toilet paper immunises against Corona

why are virgin freaks always obsessed with japan