ITT: We think of retarded, very situational superpowers

The power to shake your wrists really quick but not fast enough to actually do something cool.

I can turn bread into shit and shit into bread.

Time travel but you can only use it in the past or future.

So... like X-men days of future's past?

Anything you misplace or lose(drop under the sofa, leave in the pockets of your other pants, etc) has a small chance of vanishing from reality.

That's the best superpower ever in a big city.

>I can turn bread into shit
me too

Can understand animals but there's nothing to hear but eat, mate, sleep etc

pinpoint precision fingernail flicking.
Not super fast or strong, you can only flick it as far as you can any normal clipped nail, you can only pretty much make it land exactly where you want it to go within that range

But can you shit into bread?

>traffic jam
>reverse traffic jam
>still a traffic jam

GOD DAMN IT JUAN

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temporarily blind people, nice

Those kind of powers are like the ones in the French animated series, the Minimighty Kids:

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSm-q5Zlhym_y1nc6Em5d0B1szYXqxsKO

they literally have powers for stinky feet, taking the blame and everyone instantly forgiving you, controlling Lice like a circus ringleader, even a power where everything you talk gets magically written on a piece of paper that just randomly appears by the way,

yeah, it gets pretty weird

In a big crowded location that's actually pretty damn useful.

The ability to make a person's mouth feel like they've just eaten an slightly underripe banana.

You spit watermelon seeds and a little juice when you talk.

True, but it's still situational. It's not a power that can be transferred elsewhere, such as finding the fastest/emptiest checkout lane or finding the quickest path between two locations. It only works for parking spaces.

As an aside, I had only pictured this applying to places with large parking lots as well. Didn't think about the application to cities, though, so at least it's not AS situational as I had thought going into this.

I dunno if this counts, but I once had a dream where a bunch of people got superpowers and mine was the ability to change someone's memories. Everyone made fun of me for having such a stupid power until they "remembered" I was their leader and that they had sworn absolute loyalty to me. I ended up pitting a bunch of the superhumans against each other and causing mass havoc. The rest of the "plot" of the dream is a little fuzzy, but I think it was of me slowly but surely spreading my influence by altering the memories of particularly powerful people and by building an army of superhumans. The dream ended with me becoming a global dictator or something.

You'll have watermelons for days!

>the ability to change someone's memories
That can be pretty damn useful if you want someone to forget something or remember in a different way.
Not too bad, actually.

The ability to punch people but have the punches have no effect on the target, they can't feel and get pushed by the punch.

The ability to control people's bones, but only after consuming milk.

The only person you can't become is yourself.

It's also similar to a children's book series I read The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy. Everyone it town is born with a power. Some are useful, like indestructibility, some are the ability to always whistle in perfect tune. The book follows Ordinary Boy, the only person who has no powers at all.

Now do you mean after -they've- consumed milk?
Or after (you)'ve consumed milk?
If it's the former then yeah, that's pretty situational. You'd rarely get to use that power.
If it's the latter then fuck, you've got it made.
Just drinks some milk and everyone's bones'll be yours!

>reverse speed force
you move so slow that you can stop time