ITT: We try to think of situations where these "useless" superpowers could be helpful and save the day

>acid tears
If you shoot them like projectiles they become way more useful.

1 second super strength is basically early Deku. It can get shit done.

1 second super strength depends on how long the recharging is.

>implying fruit don't contain the secrets to the universe

WAHH
WAHHH
WAHHH

>turn into a laptop.

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invisibility in the dark isn't useless at all

Revive bugs is interesting. If you can keep extending a bug's lifespan, you'd probably be able to eventually condition them to perform basic tasks.

you could also revive some of those crazy prehistoric mega insects that were 20 feet tall

>Control remote control
That ability would belong to one of those joke characters, who suddenly pulls a clutch when they pull the doomsday device control out of the BBEG's hand at the very last moment.

Desaturation, if offensive could argueably kill anything after a certain amount of timr

>Revive Bugs
I can bring back the bees!

>Revive bugs
BEHOLD MY INVISIBLE SPIDER ARMY!!!

a lot of these could be devastating if the user could apply them to other people

combine Abnormal Armhair Growth with Instant Hairloss for an infinite supply of hair

Invisibility in the dark really shouldn’t be on there, that’s super useful unless theres some extreme limitation on how dark it has to be for it to activate.

*invincible. Always get those two words mixed.

Invisibility in the dark sounds pretty cool. I like to think the less light there is the more opaque you are until you're completely invisible.

No one said you could control them user

Just superglue some kitchen knives to a few remotes and you're an immediate threat.

>invisibility in the dark is useless
Not for a cat burglar.
>1 second super strength
Use that second at the moment of impact while striking someone or something.
>summon a lamp once
you could use it to save your life by spawning the lamp inside of an assailant.
>absorb bad luck
While it wouldn't be fun for the user they could help out unlucky people by sucking out their bad luck and then letting the bad-luck free people go play the stock market or some shit. Maybe while being cognizant of bad luck you can bleed it out in inconsequential ways like losing yu-gi-oh matches in a padded room or some shit.
>communicate with fruit
Maybe you can compel the fruit to grow in interesting ways
>revive bugs
Watch man eat lobster, make lobster revive and tear man apart from inside.

they were big but they were never fucking Princess Nausica sized.
A schnauzer sized trilobite, maybe.

reading your own mind would be really useful. you could be like a super-philosopher or something.
if we're going by comic logic, it could be like "using 100% of your brain" or something silly like that

Invisibility in the dark can actually be useful depending on what light level it activates
Reviving bugs can have alot of real life financial and scientific benefits
1 second super strength can legitimately be a really cool power as you just need to be creative when you use it and how long it takes to recharge

You don't even need that. Having control over remote controls means you'd be able to control when the buttons are pressed, too. You'd be able to control anything hands-free so long as you can make a remote for it. That includes shit like vehicles.

actually yeah, if you had full access to your own subconscious you'd probably have excellent self-understanding and eventually a total ability to modulate your moods and shit.
It wouldn't make you a superhero, but it could make you supernaturally charismatic, adept, and basically an hyper-enlightened A-type personality.

>Maybe you can compel the fruit to grow in interesting ways
I'm pretty sure that would be like "talking woth spiders" Peter superpower, like, sure, you can talk to fruits, the thing is they can't answer back because they are, well, fruit.

And with the right items it can be very powerful

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i think invisibility in darkness is a power nightcrawler used to have

They would insanly die because there's no enough oxigen in the athmosphere.

I mean:
>see the apple blossom turn into a little pea-sized apple
>tell it you'll give it extra fertilizer and sunlight if it concentrates on being a freaky-ass apple that's 75% seeds instead of flesh
>it does so
>process giant apple seeds into cyanide

1 second super strength could be useful if you used that one second to knock a villain the fuck out.

I mean why even do it yourself, just ask the apple to concentrate the cyanide in its seeds instead.

You could keep them in a pressurized chamber and charge admission for your crazy big bug zoo.
Alternatively turn fossils into big heaps of tasty bug meat.
I mean I like shellfish so whatever meat's on a giant horse shoe crab's probably tasty?

>Acid Tears
Usefulness is extremely dependent on whether or not it comes with immunity to acid tears as a secondary benefit.

>Invisibility in the Dark
The threshold for "dark" is the operative factor here. Could end up a lot more useful than it would seem if, say, anything up to a full moon counts.

>Control Remote Control
Scales directly with how useful the remote controls you have access to are. TV remote? Not so great. Military Drone remote? Different story entirely.

>Communicate with Fruit
Also scales directly with how informative fruit's capable of being. If a piece of fruit can relay a conversation it overheard, you've got something to work with here.

>Trash Detection
If you're able to tell what the trash you're detecting is, it might be useful. If it's just indeterminate trash radar, it's probably not going to do much.

>75% Levitation
That's presumably immunity to fall damage if nothing else. If it lets you move without friction on any terrain, you could basically ice-skate everywhere.

>Summon a Lamp... Once
Summon a genie lamp. Checkmate, idiot.

>Bullet Attraction
Bullet distraction. Lets you be a target to protect people, you just have to account for the fact you're definitely going to be shot.

>Read your own Mind
If you can dig into your own memories, you've got perfect recall.

>Instant Hairloss
>Abnormal Armhair Growth
Got nothing here.

>Absorb Bad Luck
Basically just an expanded version of Bullet Attraction.

>Super Slow-Mo
Could theoretically grant effectively super precision.

>Revive Bugs
Another one that scales directly with the material in question. The better the bug you can revive, the better it could work.

>Ultra Fast Aging
Press this button to die instantly.

>Invisible Handwriting
Got nothing here.

>1 Second Super Strength
A gun only requires milliseconds of explosive force to kill someone. Apply the same logic and you can do a lot of damage with this.

>Turn into a Laptop Forever
>Seduce Hats
>Desaturation
Got nothing here.

I bet you could make a lot of money from bee farms like this

>Trap a monstrous giant bug in a cycle of near-instant death and revival
Could be fun.

>horse shoe crab
Oh wait, those are technically bugs too, aren't they? Think of what a big deal it would be to continuously revive one of them and constantly harvest their blood for medicinal use.

>turn out trash detection
>immediately know which Yas Forums posters are loudhouse fags and hide their threads

I totally forgot that horseshoe crabs have magic blood.

>Turn into a Laptop Forever

>sneak into cute grill's house
>destroy and hide her laptop
>become her laptop
>spend the rest of your days sitting on cute grill's lap watching her flick her bean
heh, gottem

>insanly die
So just revive them again.