This is an approved review on rotten tomatoes for the spongebob movie (on the first page as well)

this is an approved review on rotten tomatoes for the spongebob movie (on the first page as well)

colesmithey.com/articles/2005/03/its_the_pedophi.html

Attached: rt.png (369x253, 35.74K)

Who the fuck is Cole Smithey?

CWC's half-brother if I recall rightly. They're long estranged though

Chris-Chan's brother, no joke.

I aint clicking that shit. But, how does anything in that statement have anything to do with Spongebob?

LMAO imagine being a dad having two kids and one of them projects his pedophilia onto a kids show and the other writes autistic sonic fanfics

>SpongeBob declares that the two will "party 'till we're purple," to which the pink Patrick replies, " I love being purple." This is an undisguised allusion to a well-known joke about the difference between pink and purple being the grip of one's member. It's clearly a Caucasian joke, and the atmosphere of the cartoon supports this racially segregated view of the world within a sexualized context.

I recommend reading this, it's hilariously mind-boggling stuff. He basically goes on the most deranged interpretation of Spongebob I've ever seen to unearth layers and layers of supposed paedophilic subtext in every frame.

>SpongeBob runs into the house of his adult next door neighbor Squidward as the old man character showers in silhouette with what seems to be an enormous erection. SpongeBob soon appears in the shower with the man whom he services by brushing him with a bathing brush. When Squidward demands to know why SpongeBob can't wait until they get to work to discuss SpongeBob's issue, SpongeBob replies that "there's no shower at work." What's notable here is that the child character is shown as the instigator of a sexual overture between himself and an adult male character. Matching shower caps that carry a prophylactic connotation unify the child with the adult. Condom imagery also shows up as ever unrolling red eyelids for SpongeBob's boss Eugene Krab.
LOL

This is some next level projection.

Attached: 1433829969471.png (493x276, 33.56K)

he's... he's being ironic, right? noone can be that retarded

I have no fucking words.

He's not Bob's (Chris-Chan's father's) son he's the son of Chris' mother and some other guy she was with before meeting Bob. Bob did have other kids and they ended up becoming doctors. Clearly it's Chris mom's who has the shitty genes, Chris' father should have avoided her.

This is the same guy that cost Toy Story 3 a perfect 100% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes.

A few other critics gave it a poor review after he did, though, but it kept a 98% in the end.

This. It could also be because bob was in his 60's when he knocked up a woman in her 50's IIRC. His other kids are all STEMlords but you leave a round in the chamber for 30 years and see if it fires true.

Well, that's disappointing, was hoping that someone who hated Chris as much as Cole supposedly does would be at least somewhat based, and not almost as bad as Chris.

>almost ten years ago
>not armand white

>The film's unscrupulous theme of turning boys into men via physical intimacy with an adult male culminates after SpongeBob and Patrick "get King Neptune's crown in Shell City." After drying out under a hot lamp in a beach shop SpongeBob and Patrick are rescued by a real life David Hasselhoff who transports them across miles of ocean on his back before propelling them home by squeezing them out from between his hairy pectorals on the King's crown. Once home SpongeBob admits that he is only a "kid" who "rode the Hasselhoff." In the text of the script SpongeBob has gone from being a "dork" and a "dingaling" to merely being a "goofball" and a "wingnut." But he also transforms into being a "manager" (with an emphasis on "man") by riding the adult male (David Hasselhoff).

>SpongeBob's best friend Patrick has a crush on the King's mermaid daughter — so that knocks him out of homoerotic contention for SpongeBob's affections. The only gay affiliation SpongeBob has in the movie is his physical connection with a scantily clad adult male (David Hasselhoff) and that is a pedophile connection that's supported by the text of which I've provided several examples.

So his autism is genetic rather than the fact his parents were middle aged when he was born.

At least now we know CWC's crazy is almost certainly genetic.

Attached: 1546865664229.png (351x395, 31.2K)

It's more of a desperate attempt to gain notoriety. He wants fame and recognition.

I never know of I should have intense respect for Armond White as a master troll or disrespect him for having unironic shit taste.

Remember when that Focus on the Family group said that Spongebob was being used to promote homosexuality?

its kinda both really
both of my uncles have schitzophrenia and then i got autism bad (but my sister didn't, maybe her kids will). then again, my sister was born when my parents were in their 20s and i was born in their (early) 30s

No, read up on Cole's childhood, it's a miracle he didn't shoot up a school 20 years ago

This is some Onion levels of satire

Attached: 43534664.gif (224x203, 1.06M)

Armond White is famous because his reviews are really well made even though they are mostly trolling with impossibly high standards. This Chris Chan sibling in the oher hand is just being lazy and crazy

He also ruined Lady Birds perfect score, a movie even Armond White liked

He makes some good points and calls out people so he's pretty based because of it.

Prime shitposting material

Attached: 1586265108264.png (400x400, 84.38K)

Oh lawdy I'm fucking dead. Deathgripping your cock is racist.