Alright fellas, let's not beat around the bush here. We all know the park is in need of new hires, but just because we're in need and desperate doesn't mean I'm going to hire any random person. So, let's get started; in no particular order, please introduce yourselves, and uh, tell me what you can bring to the table.
Alright fellas, let's not beat around the bush here. We all know the park is in need of new hires...
Lincoln Hall
Oliver Reed
delet discord fags and otakus shit
Easton Young
You know who else doesn't beat around the bush?
Justin Johnson
I can write slash fiction about my coworkers.
Josiah Diaz
ur sister?
Juan Roberts
My name is user, I jerk off in the coffee pot and will attack vermin with a baseball bat if necessary
Ryder Kelly
Yeah but also, MY MOM!
David Morales
Noah Bailey
Camden Perry
My name is user and my special talent is failing so hard at life that other people are motivated to do better so they don't end up like me.
Leo Fisher
Hi, I'm Chloe, and I'm absolutely PERFECT in every way!
Asher Campbell
I am 8x Mr.Olympian Ronnie Coleman I can squat 800 lbs for 2 reps but i could have gotten 5 easy if I wanted, I can deadlift 800, and leg press over a thousand lbs for reps
LIGHTWEIGHT BABY
Hunter Thompson
Grrrerer I'm norman raaaarg I make fire
Lift heavy
Burn leaves real good
Graaaaree
Oliver Ramirez
I can Save ya a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
Carson Brooks
sorry Benson,i can't do this today because...look,i just can't, ok?
Hudson Rogers
HELLO FELLOW STRANGE HUMAN. I AM ALSO A FELLOW HUMAN AS WELL. I DO WORK GOOD AND FOLLOWING ORDERS IS ALSO SOMETHING I AM ABLE TO PERFORM. I WILL DO THESE JOBS FOR HUMAN CURRENCY, FOR THAT IS WHAT I AM WHICH IS A HUMAN.
Jacob Lee
YOU'RE ALREADY HIRED, BUT YOU WON'T BE IF YOU DON'T LEAVE AND GET BACK TO WORK, RIGHT, NOW!!!
Get out.
[...Well, I definitely could use some more insurance against rats... I could just keep him away from the kitchen...]
...Is it okay if I call you back?
I'm waiting.
RIGBY I SAID GET BACK TO WORK
Too young.
Can't risk setting the whole park on fire, no.
NO SOLICITING. LEAVE
Huh, straight-forward and to the point. I like you, you're hired!
Noah Kelly
I
TURN
LITTLE BLACK WORMS
INTO CENTIPEDES
Ryan James
O-oh, apologies sir, I got you confused with , similar physiques and all, haha...
...also, no.
Jacob Martin
Ew.
Jaxon Williams
Make me.
>Loiters and starts working on another smutty draft.
Isaiah Fisher
A-Ah, why yes! I am Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the greatest evil scientist known to mankind! S...Still haven't actually taken anything over, per se, b-but! I am a genius inventor, and I can create an Inator for absolutely any purpose you might desire! ...Prefarably EVIL purposes since, yknow, evil is an expensive profession, and money has been, a-aaahh, particularly tight as of lately, which is... why I'm here...
...
So, do I get the job?
Samuel King
That's not LKJ.
Bentley Thompson
This thread is bad and you should all feel bad.
I'm gonna go smoke with Mordo and Riggs behind the concession stand.
Isaiah Martinez
THIS IS A THING THAT HAS GIVEN ME GREAT SATISFACTION. YOU ARE NOW IN POSSESSION OF MY GRATITUDE. I BELIEVE ALL THAT IS LEFT IS THE SIGNING OF PAPERS. I HAVE BROUGHT THEM MYSELF WITH ME TO THIS LOCATION AS IT IS WHERE WE MUST SIGN THEM.
Nathaniel Lee
HELLO
MY NAME IS JIMMY
AND I LIKE TO EAT APPLES
Matthew Richardson
I have chink wife and big money
Andrew Gray
Hello my name is Drew Pickles and I would like to work at your fine establishment.
Ian Martin
Fine. I was leaving anyways being a cop is way better than working for damn gumball machine. Your gorilla man ain't even got any legs tell him to works on them proportions.
William Evans
Of course my good sir, I will leave my resume by the door. I will not enter your kitchen.
Julian Clark
Real estate
Cameron Nelson
Hey my name is Steven, uh, Demayo. I have a green thumb and managed a small town's worth of personnel in my last job, which I left after having an emotional breakdown due to childhood trauma.
Can I apply?
Carter Campbell
pfft look at you obsolete mayonaise ghouls with your pathetic menial labor easily replaced with robots maybe if you consoomed the right product like me, an enlightened mcu fan and movie critic you would have a place in the superior future that you troglodytes have stolen from me by being obsolete
Joseph Anderson
Eugh, why would I want to make my job even harder?
>Perry ejects himself from the gumball dispenser
I... I-I... what just happened...?
Hahaha, straight-forward AND proactive! I can tell we'll get along just fine!
Get from my trees.
Sorry, I run a RESPECTABLE business here, sir.
Glad to hear the enthusiasm. What can you tell me about yourself?
...Okay, I'm listening.
Had me until the trauma part. I'm not here to babysit.
Hey Skips, we have a situation here; think you can take care of this? Thanks.