>"Okay. I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife; the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing; you always say, "Ooh, I'll getcha later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much: he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "A" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should "legalize pot, man". How big business is crushing the underclass. How homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots". Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father. How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! *sigh* Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak."
"Okay. I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know...
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Yeah
i know you are but what am i
:^)
I appreciate that for once Seth admits he isn't that funny or insightful.
I'm thinking about we start a religion where the priest and priestess fuck the children at about 13-15 while high on acid. That way they won't be so focused on sex and we can have less angry virgins.
sick roast i dab on his grave yikes
"You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. How's that, am I in the ballpark?"
No six words in fiction are as insufferable as "At Least I'm Honest About It". The only person who's ever made them mean anything besides adding a stratum of ironic hypocrisy to their assholery is The Hound from Game of Thrones.
>t serial rapist