What a fucking update

Jades first action should be raping Dave and Karkat as punishment for three years of bullshit.

NIGGA WHAT!

Agreed.

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Why is homestuck filled with gross sex stuff?

youre being too smart. this is Yas Forums just bitch and moan.

I'm glad Bernie lost.

Homestuck 2 Beyond Canon is after the epilogues, but you don't need to read that shit since it largely cherrypicks what's important or not from it, and just moves on from there.

Homestuck 2 is like a dumpster's idea of a nasty place to see. The epilogues and shit are like someone thought you made a thousand year egg by leaving eggs out for a really long time, so there's a stinking heap of smelly eggs hidden under some bricks somewhere in a plastic bag. Everything the people who still enjoy this series do is like a dog who was unusually intelligent, but only to the extent that it figured out clever ways to eat the barf of other dogs.

MOTHERFUCKER!

That's dumb. I mean I can't fault you really. But the story is not over yet. The original story is a single loop, it never ends, there's no conclusion. Even outside "canon" they're not free. Hussie still lingers in dark, directing this flaming fucking ship but only from the backseat; giving these trogs a creative room to fiddle in; but he still navigates the overarching story.

The nu-writing sucking ass is not entirely the fault of said trogs, but yet again, a metatextual message, that even if HS "ended", shit is still not right. We're nowhere near the finish line.

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I just want John to rape every woman of Homestuck with Jade fucking Dave.

Reminder that K8 actively hates you and wishes to deliver nothing but the most aggravating and unsatisfying content possible.

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K8 should hurry up and be part of the 41% already.

Also good.

Jade's first action should be to try to contact Dave and Karkat.

And then Karkat bullying her like the loser she is while Dave remains silent.

Karkat was already missing her slutty self and showed concern over her being possessed. Plus Hussie in the recent book was teasing that Karkat liked her.

>Karkat is still a boring piece of shit marketable moralfag who always needs to act good
Yawn.

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Why stop there? John should grab the female variations of the dudes, and knock them up too. Make him the Zeus of Homestuck.

But femDave is for Jade.

i still imagine that the plot/timeline of homestuck isn't actually a loop for some reason.
basically, as i imagine it, earth develops along our timeline until 13/4/09, then they start playing sburb. the act of playing sburb retcons them into the timeline as described in the comic with ectobiological relationships to their friends, stable time loops, etc. all of that is as much a game construct as the lands of X and Y. but if they hadn't played sburb then time would've continued as normal. (allowing them to experience the only fate worse than being trapped in the homestuck narrative: being trapped in our timeline.)

there's no evidence for this theory in the comic so far as i know, but it's just how i imagine things playing out. (maybe because it preserves the idea of sburb as being a videogame.)

>zues of homestuck
John created the Lusii

Jade loves it when they are having children, both femDave and herself.

Imagine John being the Sufferer's actual father.
You could reasonably claim that it was his dna that caused red blood to pop up in the alternians.

i saw that comic too

guess this means without cherubs there would be no story?

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My headcanon is Jade convinced Rose to borrow them John for a bit so he would knock them both up.

NIGGA THA FUCK?!

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I'm having a laugh so far. Not exclusively, but still.

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Jade's a slut now and that's bad.

GIT 'ER JADE!

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Well, we pretty much see that in Pesterquest, right?
The game was delivered so it exists, but they never play it and time continued as normally as it could minus the issue of the meteors.
The thing is that their timeline is inherently fucked for them to exists/be in their position, as Jade/Jake live on a secluded island, Roxy/Dirk live in the desolate future, and Dave lives in Texas.

Besides, Homestuck is only a loop for LE/new readers, there's a definitive point for the cast leaving the narrative and that being the end of Homestuck.

>john fathered the sufferer
>he banged the delarosa
>sufferer never liked this
>john is THAT stepdad

I'm pretty sure that's not what happened.

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Fuck K8, qnd fuck her hatred of Jade.

Jesus the art is dogshit.

I don't care what you claim. My headcanon matters to me, that's it.

Wait, is that an actual thing?

>she's gonna end up a lesbian or worse, with davepeta, to keep her away from Dave

8R34K H34DS?

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honk HONK?

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I wonder how the team will explain candy jade and davepeta hooking up when davepeta is at best 16 and Jade's in her forties.

That's it? You let her have control again at the first threat of suicide? Very un-manipulative of you Callie.

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I can't even tell if that would be a loli or shota relationship and that confuses me.

>how it shaped your adolescence
Go outside

Jade was right. She is mostly motivated to narrate because she's lonely and wants to insert herself into the narrative. She got called out and defied by her vessel at the same time.

Jade deserves control.

Honestly that's it for Callie, I know it's a meme about "How will i ever recover" but no Jade shot her and it was a fatal bullet.
It hasn't even been that look and Calliope is now bluntly stated to be shit.

I don't understand because Jade's Meat self was still her own body and AltCalliope was parading around in the deadJade body in Candy that was explicitly used to escape the black hole after devouring LE into the Meat timeline. She used Meat Jade as a sort of antenna to warn everyone about Dirk but then overstayed her welcome. She's being a greedy evil bitch for puppeting an alive Jade with her own body for absolutely no reason, though Jade's supposed ''friends'' aren't much better for not doing anything about this or asking AltCallie to swap at least so Jade wasn't so stifled.

Remember, it's always to keep her away from Dave and Karkat.

>The game was delivered so it exists, but they never play it and time continued as normally as it could minus the issue of the meteors.
So they can't *not* play it, otherwise they'll die from the reckoning, and also won't send back their ectobaby selves to exist in the first place.

> there's a definitive point for the cast leaving the narrative and that being the end of Homestuck.
John gets a message at the end of the Credits from Caliborn and his pals. Cue his Masterpiece and the rest. Although I guess in spirit, it ended, but I view it more as just a milestone for something that Hussie had no idea would spiral so out of control, back in 2009; I view it as more of a symbolic end.

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"Friends" indeed.

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>that's it for Callie
user, she took over a dead Jade body and brought Aradia and Davebot along with her.
Wouldn't surprise me if the next chapter focuses on her and those two.

>Jade was right. She is mostly motivated to narrate because she's lonely and wants to insert herself into the narrative. She got called out and defied by her vessel at the same time.

>Lonely
>Wants to self insert
>Gets called out for defiling the story
>Most everyone has a gripe with her

Does this remind you of anyone? (K8)

That's not what I meant by "that's it" what i meant by it is that any reason to root for AltCalliope Is pretty much dead.

This dramatic dark panel of AltCallie being alone in a black void I just think makes the least amount of sense when we already know she has deadJade juiced on LE vore powers.

Then again AltCallie is a manipulative cunt with narrative power. I guess this does explain it as much as I hate the meta shit. She's framing herself to be pitiable in her existence and manipulating ignorant readers who didn't check out the trash fire that was the epilogues to know this is a bunch of bullshit.

Who the fuck was rooting for her in the first place?

You know if I think about it yeah. Witches are meant to fucking suffer. It's fucked but it's there in the comic.

>...Jade
>Damara and Rufioh's casanova bullshit, Meenah specifically messing with her inside the doomed bubbles where nothing matters, for all fucking eternity
>Feferi gets abandoned by the narrative, and reduced to a petty love triangle trophy, despite a good chunk of the story only existing because of her (the dreambubbles)

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>Then again AltCallie is a manipulative cunt with narrative power. I guess this does explain it as much as I hate the meta shit. She's framing herself to be pitiable in her existence and manipulating ignorant readers who didn't check out the trash fire that was the epilogues to know this is a bunch of bullshit.

She's just as horrible as Caliborn, although, in her own way.

Point taken.