Yes, yes, well done slytherin, well done slytherin

Yes, yes, well done slytherin, well done slytherin.
HOWEVER

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> BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP
> SPLAT
> plop
> prft
> “Oh dearie me I seem to have made a little accident on the floor”
> “I’ll just use my magic to clean it all up like we did in olden days”

absolutely based and dehpilled

>"JESUS CHRIST HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR GOD DAMN NAME IN THE FUCKING GOBLET OF YOU FOUR-EYED SHITFACED ORPHAN?"
>Dumbledore said calmly

>10 points to Black Granger for being not from Slytherin
>It's Hermione, sir.
>Don't talk back Black or feel my wrath, like so. Fifty points from Slytherin.

Yes, yes, well done J.K. Rowling, for becoming the first billionaire author... HOWEVER. In the process, you spawned one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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TEN STUDENTS FROM SLYTHERIN

Harry - did I ever tell you about my ex-lover, played by j. Depp. he and i had an intense sexual relationship, its a shame I got older - this harry asshole... thats why we named you harry btw your mother isnt real it was all james and I I like em young harry I was sitting over you waiting for you to wake up in this hospital he was a good friend

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HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE

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>all that shit
>bayou